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Are words just words? You can get upset my them of course. One rainy Sunday afternoon we were both sitting in the lounge after lunch and got talking. John said he was proud of me and the journey I had taken. I was very shy with him when we first dated but learnt to trust him and opened up to him. The long journey went from me giving my heart and soul to him. He has moulded me into his ideal wife, although we are not there yet. I still at times break the mould in small places which is when he comes to correct me.

Whilst having this indepth talk about our journey he came out with. "Soon I will be able to call you my slut". I was taken a back to say the least. I am not a slut and never have been. I never slept around and only had a few boyfriends before  Then he explained that I would act on his word at anytime. If he wanted to have sex right now I would obilge. I might not want to but I would not say now. That is my submissive nature in this relationship. The slut word is just linked I think to sexual acts. He loves me to wear a really nice dress, with nice shoes, stockings and make-up and have lunch with my parents. Nobody nows that before I slipped my panties on he lubriacted my anus and slipped a small butt plug inside me. He enjoys the perception of a pretty lovely daughter and wife but really she is a slut to her husband. I would rather have lunch without something inside me but I agree to it because he asked me.

So am I a slut. I suppose I am, but only to my husband but he says I have yet to earn the badge of honour yet. I can't see what else I need to do but his eyes went wide when I asked him that.

A weekend staying in

John is very protective and wants to know everything. Perhaps he is a bit insecure but he likes to control most areas of my life. The word control sounds strong but I don't mean it like that.

Anyway when I sometimes say I have done something in the past or experienced something he always says "you never told me that". He then likes to know all the details.. It can be anything, like going on holiday or perhaps a minor experience with a boyfriend. I think I have told him everything but there are always things I might not of mentioned. Were is this leading, well we were back at my house. My mum had been asking me for ages to take some of my old stuff away and we have finially got round to sorting it out.

I didn't know what the stuff was so John and I started to go through some of the boxes and bin liners. There were a few photo albums which John looked through with interest. The pictures of me were with a horse I use to ride, a few of me dancing and some of me at school. He made some comments about how I should not of been allowed to dress like that, joking a bit but he meant it. He also noticed I was the only girl wearing knee socks as mum had not allowed tights to school. He agreed about the no tights rule! He thinks tights are for grown ups.

Well after more sorting we had gathered the stuff togheter. John hadn't helped much, spending ages looking through the photo albums. Anyway the last bag he decided to open and it containted my old school uniform. "I will have some fun with this young lady".

When we got back home we loaded all the stuff inside. It was a Friday afternoon and John had mentioned a special weekend. I had hoped of a weekend away but he showed me the fridge of all things. I opened it and it was stocked full of food. His mother had been in when we were out and filled up. "We are staying in all weekend, not even going out the front door and I want you to change into your school uniform for me"

Why on earth do you want me to wear my old uniform. "Because I told you to and I want to see how you looked in it". He handed me the skirt, school knickers and knee socks together with my old school blouse. He also said he wanted my hair in bunchies. No suprise there then.

It felt very strange dressing in my old school uniform. I was actually pleased it still fitted me but I had lost weight since I had met John.

I was nervous as I walked into the bedroom. "How do you feel" he asked. "A bit silly" I replied in a lower tone. He asked me some funny questions like if I had ever kissed other boys in my uniform or gone further. I replied no. He then pulled me towards him and I sat on his lap. He opened my legs and touched my legs and then moved his wayinto my knickers and started to feel arounded my inside. It felt quite nice. It didn't take him long to put me on the bed and have his way. It didn't take him long and I think it was one of his tick boxes to have me in my old school uniform. I suppose it was a bit of fun.

What wasn't fun was having the spend the whole weekend in my uniform. I was dreading anyone calling but with luck nobody called around. We had sex all weekend, he was on heat but I was glad when Sunday night came around and I could ditch the uniform. Perhaps for once a skirt and tights was a better option!

Guidance

I liked being a housewife at times, other days I didn't like. Love hate relationship I suppose. I still couldn't get use to the restrictions and rules but know that this is what John wants. Actually John uses the word require a lot instead of request, although he will use the word request when he asks me to do something for the first time.

Before John goes to work he usually tells me if he wants certain jobs doing, but not always. I alway have the housework to do which MIL guides me on, then there is the washing, ironing etc. I always have his tea ready for him when he gets back but I do admit to being lazy at times, especially early on in marriage.

I would wizz around the house cleaning as fast as I could so I could watch trashy tv after. John started to notice and parts of the house I had left and were getting rather untidy and in places dirty. He told me he worked hard all day so I wouldn't have to. He asked me to keep the house clean and tidy. If I failed at work I would be given warnings, the same would apply at home. I think he made several comments about the downstairs toilet which I hated cleaning.

Well it came to a head when he arrived home at 2 oclock in the afternoon. I was expecting him about 6 o clock. I was sitting in front of the tv with a big bag of crisps and a very small glass of wine. He was not impressed to say the least. He said he had warned me several times and I would be dealt with tonight. He went over to the table to collect a folder he had left. I think the main reason of his vist was a bit of relief. He told me to sit down on the carpet which I did. I knew what was coming. He unzipped his trousers and they fell to the ground. He was already enlarged through his boxer shorts which he then lowered. He cupped his hand around the back of my head and guided me to him. I started work, well it felt like a chore and it wasn't long before he was fully aroused. I was hoping inside, but no he relieved himself over my face, yuck. He then kissed me and said he would see me later.

I stayed in position until I could hear his car drive off and then washed myself down, now dreading tonight.Time dragged on but I prepared a lovely tea which he enjoyed. I hoped he had forgotten as we had a lovely meal togheter. He complimented me on the cooking and the extra cleaning I had done in the afternoon. But no he hadn't forgotten. After tea he told me to go upstairs and wait for him.

I sat on the bed and five minutes later he arrived. He pulled the dressing room chair into the middle of the room and told me to go over his lap. I lay across his lap which my hands resting on the floor. Noting happend for a bit until I felt his hand position my bottom. He then talked at me, telling me I was becoming a little lazy and I was saying I had done work that I hadn't. I agreed with what he was saying and agreed to my punishment. He raised my skirt and then lowered my opaque tights which I was hoping for some protection. Then I felt his fingers around the band of my knickers and they were then were lowered. Then the spanking with the slipper. Wow it hurt and it wasn't long before I started to cry but he still continued. It was a real spaning and it seemed to last for ever. He commented on my bottom changing to the right colour after which he stopped and told me to stand up. Still sobbing he kissed me and told me to change into my night dress and go to bed. But it was only 8 o clock I replied. Do you want another spanking then. I said no and quickly put on my night dress and went to bed. He left the room and turned the light off. I felt like a naughty girl. My first guidance spanking I suppose.

Married Life!

Some people say you feel different when you arrived back from honeymoon a married wife, but it didn't sink in with me at first. John did put me over his shoulder and carry me over the doorstep. I remember feeling a bit embarrased as it was windy and my dress blew up at the exact time a couple walked past...

We arrived back home on Sunday afternoon and John casually announced that he was starting a new job on Monday. He never mentioned it to me! His reply was that it didn't concern me now I was a full time house wife. His worries of the world will not enter mine and so on. I was a little dissapointed he didn't mention anything but more so that my sort of last contact with my work place was now gone. A few of my work colleagues has gone quiet since I announced I was marrying John and when I saw a few of them a while back in my maxi dress and long hair they thought I had changed. I had changed but I was still me. Oh well, new marriage, new life I guess.

John asked me to iron his shirt on Sunday night after I had cooked tea. I didn't mind, it sort of meant I was doing my bit but after the washing from our honeymoon I was worn out. John on the other hand had spent the evening watching tv so by bed time he was full of beans which was evident in the bedroom.

I woke early the next morning to make John his breakfast. He was already up and working at his computer. He was a little rushed so breakfast was brief, a quick kiss goodbye and then quiet, the house was empty. I felt a little off colour for some reason so I texted John good luck and said I was feeling a little unwell. I didn't expect a reply as it was his first day but he thanked me and told me to rest and stay in bed which I did. I woke about 2 hours later feeling a little better and went on the net.  I came across some sites about newly married couples and the different types of relationships. I learnt quite a lot about myself that afternoon just by reading some new sites.

I suppose as women we want men to be strong and protective. I certainly did but in  past relationships  when it suited me! A man wants a gentle woman who is submissive. Again something I didn't give in past relationships but is something I want and try and at times  to give to John. 

Leadership is another aspect. I have never been a leader but sometimes wanted to make decisions. By letting John lead me I am giving him my trust and also his happiness. He doesn't want me to make difficult decisions he wants to protect me from them.

Sex, well what do I say. I fought with this one. Girls and women are raised in the modern world to be more in control and maintain different views to men. John has taught me new lessons and has led and taught me to be demure and submissive in the bedroom. He has no constraints in the bedroom and fully expects me to oblige his advances.

So what have I given up now that I am married. Well the obvious things like my job. I suppose the biggest thing is control. John is in control now. I don't mean that in a total literal sense, but he decides where we eat if we go out, what clothes I wear, when we make love, if I need discipline etc. I have lost jealous feelings, insecure feelings, unloving feelings. I feel so loved in this marriage, but at times struggle with the guidance from him.

I felt very happy after my surfing session and text John to say I loved him. I then decided I must get on with my job, the ironing. He lated texted me back telling me to change into a dress for tonight as he was taking me out. A sort of celebration for his new job. I was displeased with his choice of dress but did not say so, even though I dislike bows on dresses.

The meal was lovely, but driving back we got diverted due to a football match. Cutting the long story short we drove through a noisy crowd of football supporters. I didn't feel scared as there was a lot of police about but their language was colourful. Add to that loads of drunk people, a man being sick in the street and a couple being rather suggestive in a bus stop it was a different way to end a romantic meal out. John was angry and said he didn't want me to see this. I told him I do know what goes on. His reply was the world at times is an ass and he wants me protected from it.

I am not a child you know. Then he said something a little odd. He then said at times I like being treated as a child. I recall not showing behaviour like a child. He said I need a strong leader in our marriage and I am a vunerable in a nice way. That why at times he treats me as a child and I respond to this without knowing, examples include being set to bed early, turning the television off if the content is not suitable, choosing suitable magazines that do not have sexual content, dressing in a feminine but not suggestive way etc. Of course I do rebel, a bit like a child and that is where spanking comes in.

Well we got back, late and John told me to go straight to bed but to keep my stockings on. He likes making love with me in stockings. I would rather they came off. It was a nice end to to the night, and well this is now married life...


PS. I would like to hear peoples comments my blogs.  I know everyones relationship and marraige is different so share your thoughts.

The big day

Well after what seemed like years of planning (it was actually about 7 months!) the big day was nearly upon me. I did feel out of it for as my MIL and my mother had decided to organise the whole thing. They saw I was a bit flusterred at times and took this to mean I couldn't cope. Even deciding on the dress was overtaken by the mothers. In the end I just decided on what she liked more than me, it was easier. It was probably the first dress that was bought without John being there. The dress was very traditional. It was a ruffled satin dress with beaded bodice, full sleeves with a chapel train. I thought the first time I tried it on it would be quite heavy but it was suprisingly light but quite restrictive. The MIL paid for the dress which was nice of her but I believe she paid for it so she could have control. Well several alterations were made and after four fitting sessions the big dress was sorted much to my relief.

Although John probed me a bit on the dress he did insist that I wore traditional hoisery. I really wanted to go bare legged as I new I would be hot but this was out of the question. His mother even chose the hoisery and underwear. She chose a satin style thong to my surprise, a floral styled bodice basque with suspender attachments and three pairs of white slightly patterned stockings. The shoes were rather plain. John did try and get me to go for a pair of heels but knowing how much standing I would doing I really wanted a pair of ballet pumps and ended up with a pair of satin pumps which fitted like a glove.

My hen night was rather a low key affair. By now my friendship circle had changed and the wild party nights I once enjoyed were gone but I still had a nice meal and few drinks. Very different to John's stag night. He went to Northern Ireland for the weekend and well that is about as much as I know.

The night before John stayed at his mothers but his mother stayed with me. My mother also stayed the night before. I remember I couldn't sleep a wink the night before. I woke up as soon as the light came through the curtains. It was only about 5 o clock but I just couldn't lie there so I took a nice bath. It must of woken the MIL and my mother up. I dragged myself out of the bath in just a robe to find MIL fully dressed and waiting to dress me. Come I thought, its only quarter to six!

I dried off and she started work on my nails. I just left her to it. Filing, cleaning and painting the dam things. I never really bothered with my nails until meeting John but he liked painted nails so I was sort of use to it now. The hairdresser was booked for 8.30 so I ate a little breakfast but didn't feel like much. Back upstairs my mother had arisen. I was ready to put my under clothes on but didn't want to undress infront of my MIL. Nonsense she said, you have got nothing to hide my girl, come on, now. Oh well, me told. I dropped my towel, thining who cares and then I realised my mother probably doesn't know I shave down there. I could see the suprise on her face when she looked. She didn't say anything though. I slipped on the basque, knickers and rolled up the suspenders and mother clipped them on. My mother then started to apply some foundation and make-up. The pampering went on for what seemed like ages until the door bell went. The hairdresser at last. Another hour went by and by this time my two bridesmaids had arrived. These were Johns cousins children, aged 10 and 7. They were really excited.

"Putting the dress on time" had arrived and I was helped with this. Mother had bought me a tiara and at last the veil. This was one thing that had caused some arguments. I didn't want a veil but John and his mother had said I had to wear a veil. The veil fell well below the shoulder, much too long than I wanted.

It took about 3 hours to get ready and we due to leave for the church at 11:30 so I was actually early but the car taking us was actually late so we kept with tradition. Dad helped me into the car with my mother and family driving ahead.

I was by now quite nervous as we approached the church. Well here we go I thought. The next time I come outside this church I will be married to John.

I don't remember much about walking up the aisle, I do recall everyone standing and watching me, something I didn't like. I am much a person that doesn't draw attention to ones self. It was great to see John waiting for me and he complimented me on my dress, as he should! The service was lovely and even the vows went smoothly. Yes I did the traditional vows of love, honour and obey. John raised my veil and kissed me. It felt wonderful, I was actually married now.

The reception was a touch too formal for me, but it was nice. It was organised by the MIL. It was held at a grand manor house with lovely gardens but the rain put a stop to any outside photographs. My fathers speech made me cry, it really was well put together and touched me. It suprised me. The best mans speech made reference to Johns pre marriage days much to his horror.

The first dance went lovely too and I was glad I was wearing ballet pumps now. John lowered my veil for the dance, I don't know why but I didn't want to argue so left it down. As the night went on I had a few drinks too many and was feeling a bit giddy. John had only consumed a few drinks but was eager to leave the reception to go to the bridal suite. When we were leaving he again asked me to lower my veil. Why I said? Because I want you too, you look so innocent and submissive with your veil down. Most guests had drank too much by now so no comments were made about my veil.

The bridal suite was well away from the reception, so far away you couldn't even hear the music. He picked me, put me over his shoulders and carried me into the room.

He took some photos of me in my wedding dress and asked me to remove my gloves and shoes. He then started to touch my vagina through the wedding dress before asking me to remove it. It took a while before I was standing there in my stockings, bodice, veil and knickers. I always felt a bit uneasy about him taking pictures of me half dressed but posed for him anyway. He took a loads of photos before lifting me onto the bed. It was a lovely time. He took his time, there was no rushing and he held me in his arms and kissed me before making love. It felt very special and he made it special this time. We both fell asleep afterwards, both exhausted from the days events.

John woke me early in the next morning for oral sex, which I of course obliged. He was a bit more forceful than last night, I think his needs were clearly priority. He finished his way with a facial and wouldn't let me go the bathroom to wash. Oh I so wanted to but he insisted. I think it was only about five thirty so we drifted back to sleep again.

John wanted an early start to our honeymoon, mainly I think to avoid the guest! He woke up at 6.30 and we showed together. John started to dry me off with his towel and said he wanted me to wear a small butt plug for the journey as as little reminder. I dislike anything really around that area but wanted so much to please so I agreed. At least I was quite lubricated from the shower. Luckily it was quite small and he slowly applied it with me bending over a chair. There was slight discomfort when I stood up but I got use to it. John had chosen my clothes for that day. A gypsy style skirt, light blue blouse with a cardigan and brown tights. He wanted my hair in tied back in two's which I did for him.

We had a small breakfast in our room and then off into the car for the drive to Scotland for our honeymoon. No fancy foregin holiday, but that didn't bother me. Now I was married my first week of married life lay ahead.

Marriage prep

Having no experience of arranging a marriage and a very excited MIL who wanted to take over it seemed easier to let her make some of the arrangements. To my surprise she even teamed up with my mum to work out table plans, menus etc. John had organised the venue and the church was arranged through his mother. It kept me busy in the week as Linda (MIL) always popped around in the afternoon to update me.

I was always try to keep the house in order by cleaning, washing, ironing and some of the gardening. John banned me from cutting grass, he deems this mans work.

John does has a habit of pointing out problems but said I was learning and by the time we would be married I would be a proper house wife in his eyes. He said if he didn't point things out I wouldn't know. I suppose that makes sense.

I felt in a whirlwind as everyone around me made arrangements for my special day. John had also told me not to cut my hair as he wanted it long. MIL had started to arrange to have my nails done every week by her friends neice but I didn't really like. She came around and tutted at the state of my bitten nails and spent a good hour and half filing and paint them much to MIL and even my own mothers delight. I think they thought I loved all this attention but I didn't really.

John had started to work late at night and they had food bought into the office so for a few nights I didn't have to cook for him. He turned into a sort of animal, only requiring sex, sleep and breakfast. He would come in when I was in bed, strip off, clothes dumped and jump into bed. He would raise my nightdress and make love to me and then fall asleep.

I got annoyed after a while and texted him at work explaining how I felt. To my suprise he came home shortly after with a lovely bunch of flowers. It sort of went some way to apologise. The lunch after was nice. We talked loads just like we did when we first met. He told me how much he loved me and how excited he was that I would soon be his wife and share his name, his home..everything.

I was now accepting my role as houswife and John had sort of built up the role. I looked forward to his return, I even had started to take pride in washing and ironing his clothes. Until that was my was judgement slipped. It was a Tuesday from memory, everything was done, the MIL had gone away that day with a friend and I was bored, hormonal and a bit excited. I started surfing the net and well came across some soft porn and this was how it started. I got excited by it, more than I should. Well this went of for some days, and I ended up spending 3 to 4 hours a day on the net. I even started to drink a glass or two of wine with my surfing sessions and although I felt guilty I had an urge to view more. Yes it is very preditable what happened next I got caught. Monday afternoon and I was sitting at the computer in just my tights and slip, something I often did at night as John liked it.  I was so ingrossed in a movie I was watching I had no idea John had pulled up and come into the house. I didn't even hear the door. And there he was behind me. I froze. I really didn't know what to say.

He didn't go mad, he didn't shout. He was very disappointed though. He thought I was this innoncent girl who he had cherished and nutured. I explained it was my fault and that I was wrong and I was under stress because of the wedding. The wedding bit didn't work because all the arrangements were made by my and his mother. He felt that I had too much free time and I had not taken on the role of housewife properly, just played at the job. Well the talking went on and on and tears were shed by me and for the first real time I realised how much I want this marriage, how much I want him and how much I now understand my role and his role. He wants me to show my vulnerability, he wants me to let go. He also said he blamed himself for not giving me enough responsibilities but said he would fix this. In conclusion the only conclusion was something I had been dreading a spanking. I had agreed to this and he said he would spank me the following evening.

Those 24 hours dragged on. All I could think of was my punishment but I knew I deserved it. I seemed to watch the clock all day. Eventually he came in. He kissed me and told me to go to the bedroom. He followed shortly with a kitchen chair. He placed the kitchen chair in the middle of the room and told me to go over his lap. I did this without hesitation and lowered by body onto this. My hands were resting on the carpet and I waiting for the next move. It seemed like ages passed and then I felt him  lifting my dress up. I was also wearing 60 denier tights and wondered if he would lower this. He talked at me first, well I say talked, I didn't really answer, he just gave the reasons for his spanking and then he started to smack my bottom. After the first few I felt the stingy pain and felt mye eyes go watery. He then lowered my tights and my panties. I felt really exposed by now but was more bothered about the spanking.  He spanked again, usually changing between my two bottom cheeks.. I tried to use my hand to protect my bottom but he moved it away. On it went until suddenly he stopped. He told me to stand up and my dress dropped down, my tights and panties still in the wrong place. I sat on his knee and he hugged me. I remember that hug, it felt lovely. Suddenly everything felt okay again. This was certaintly one way to sort problems out. No rows or sulks (well from him anyway). I knew I had corner time as we had discussed this. I move to corner of the bedroom and sat there with my bottom on fire. He left the room but I didn't want to get up, I wanted to complete my punishment and make him proud. It seemed forever but he came back after 15 minutes and I composed myself. Thinking that was all over I was mistaken. Grounded! I was sent to bed after tea and grounded for the next week which meant cancelling a night out with my friend. I didn't say the reason why. 

 Well, lesson learnt I suppose and it did teach me, I have never been on dodgy sites since. Not actually possible though, John in his wisdom but a block on certain sites.

So what did I feel after my spanking, apart from the pain? Well actually very loved, very cared for and I really really loved our cuddle after. I also felt like I was at school, even though we were never smacked at school the feeling was one of having very few responsibilties, but the ones you do have are punishable. Whilst I really hoped that would be something I would not repeat deep down I knew I would end up over his lap again.

Loving and obeying

It was quite obvious to me that my wedding vows would include the line of love, honour and obey. Since I moved in and had been learning to obey John and be a submissive partner to him in training for a wedding day in which I would then be hopefully a submissive wife.

When I became a homemaker it gave me a lot of time to think. One question I asked was, I am happier now than before I met John? Of course I am. He is loving, kind and protective and nurturing. I love the feeling of security and also (hopefully) adding to his happiness by submitting to him and his leadership. But here I am writing this wearing a skirt, frilly blouse, ballet pumps and tights. I would not be wearing these clothes if it was my choice by I wear them because John wants me to and likes me in girly clothes.

The other point is my behaviour. My behaviour sometimes gets out of control and has done long before I met John. Perhaps all I needed was guidance and control. John takes control to protect me and my well being. Example, we were eating out for the third time in 10 days and I wanted to a huge dessert at the end but John chose for me and didn't allow me a dessert because he felt I had over eaten far too much that week. I would of happly eaten that cake but was glad that John made the decision that enough is enough!

I know full well that my obedience pleases John and in a way I belong to him. He will guide my behaviour. I mean how many times have women asked their OH if they look fat in this outfit, or does this outfit suit me. Most men just lie. Although I still really struggle with clothes and feminine wear I know John likes what I wear because he has chosen it. He has spent time and effort and money buying me these clothes and he loves my apperance.

John and I have spent hours talking about things. That is one thing I like, John talks about his feelings and his desires. What he wants etc. So I knew I was not going into this with my eyes clothes.

In our relationship I submit to John and there are times when I struggle with this. He is the head of the house.. As said I will take my vows in front of everyone and obey will be in them.  I want to obey John and I want to be accountable. Accountable in our relationship does mean discipline.

 I think there are many kinds of discipline, every one has its place. Of course I don't enjoy pain and for that reason is why I should try and avoid it. Rather strange though I find the idea of discipline acceptable with John. Its a strange one for me but I suppose it shows how very different men and women are. It makes me feel cared for and loved and shows he is stronger and I suppose it is a very close act between two people.

When I have done something wrong, been lazy or misbehaved I am upset with myself and dissapointed. The act of discipline will correct this. It is very special and can only be done by John.

Trust is very important and I trust John. I trust him to guide me and when required punish me. He punishes me because he loves me and won't hurt me and I trust him with this. Spanking in our relationship is a last resort. It is not done for sexual aides and its only performed after discussion. I know spanking can be a big thing in some relationships but its not really a big deal in ours.

The mother in law

I can't really remember the first weeks when I moved it but I remember getting into a routine. I did certain jobs on certain days and wanted to turn my role as a homemaker into a job. It did anger me a little when John walked in thinking at times I had done nothing. I am expected to cook the meals and wash up after but yes I like looking after him, especially if he has had a long stressful day at work.

One day, quite unexpected, my dad popped around. It was nice to see him. We had a lovely chat but he did tell me some home truths. Things were said that he would never be able to say to me a few months ago. Basically he said I should embrace my role as a housewife (not yet a wife). I was never going to have a sucessful career and my job was going no where. But here was John providing for me. My dad doesn't actually know how strict John can be but I think he had a clue. Everyone knew how I had changed my apperance from this tomboy to a feminine girly girl but most people assumed this change was all me.

"Why can't I just wear jeans sometimes". I blurted out to my dad. "Because Kate, he wants to see you in in a lovely dress or pretty skirt. You don't get that affect in a pair of tight jeans and remember how you complained about your last boyfriends who showed no interest?"

He had a point, John was so loving compared to my last realtionships. I enjoyed our chat and felt happier about myself.

Later that evening John turned up and I asked if I could go out with the girls from the office. Someone else was leaving and they planned to go for something to eat and then off to a club. Great to catch up. No was the answer in part. John didn't want me to go clubbing and mentioned the people were a bad influence. In the end he took me out for a meal which was actually really nice but I did think it would be nice for night with the girls.

John the announced that every Tuesday his mother would be visiting to take me out shopping and to start to plan for our wedding. He had started to open up a bit about his mother and even told me what to wear when she comes around. Skirts were out, it would have to a this horrible linen floral dress with glossy stockings and heels. I still disliked being told what to wear but by now agreed to it. John was not telling me what to wear everyday, he would would just choose a skirt or dress if we were eating out.

John was in a flutter that Tuesday morning and stood over me while I got dressed. He told me to wear my hair in two plaits but I said no. This started a little argument but he did not insist. He went off to work and about an hour later the MIL arrived! Johns mother is called Linda and at the time that was all I knew about her. She kissed me as I opened the door and commented on my dress. To my shock she then touched my leg and I felt my suspender belt push in. "Good, I hate girls wearing tights, that's a sign of a lady". I didn;t say I hated tights and stockings to her.

She went into the kitchen and just started cleaning the work surfaces. I thought they were clean. Soon after we went into town. We looked at several wedding dresses, none really I liked but she took her fancy to one and even phoned up my mum to discuss it. I didn't even knew they talked but apparently they had been out to lunch. We had lunch and then she bought some undies and a skirt. She asked if I was okay for essentials but decided I wasn't and into the basket went some stockings.

Later that afternoon she drove me to the WI. Oh no, I am too young for the womens institute. I would rather be at work than this. Expecting the room to be filled with the over 70's I was surprised. Well it was mainly older people but there was a women there my age(ish). Her name is Louise and her mother dragged along to 6 months ago and she now comes every week. I think this was a set-up but it worked. Finially someone to talk to. Okay, quick fact file, Louise is 35, married with 2 girls under 5. Her husband is a doctor and has similair views as John. I have never seen her in jeans, even when she hads  kids and she moans a lot about her husband and her mother in law. Sounds too familiar.

All in all I suppose it wasn't a bad day with the MIL. She cooked tea in the evening, I think she thought I wasn't feeding her son properly. I couldn't wait for her go though. As soon as her car was off the drive John turned the TV and told me to slip out of my dress. I said can't we go upstairs but he was already stripping off. I took my dress off and I felt very vunerable and shy but that didn't stop John. I prefer the bedroom but the settee had to do this time. It was nice.

Well I learnt that the Tuesday meeting with MIL was a fixture from now on, looks like my Tuesdays would never be the same again.

Moving in

Since I was made redudant things moved fast. I often thought of the words Lorna said to my a few days before I left but things were a whirlwind.

John wanted me to move in straight away so I began by moving some of stuff over and by the middle of the week I moved in. It was quite sad leaving home but I was also very excited. Most of my new clothes were at John's house so I didn't take many clothes over and John had said he wanted to take me shopping again soon. Can't wait I thought.

One thing that did strike me was John had appeared a bit more bossy with me on the days since I left work but I think he was stressed with his job and me moving in. I moved in on the Thursday and John had taken the day off which was nice. He picked me in the afternoon and I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt mainly because I was cleaning my bedroom out. He didn't say anything but I could read his mind.

On arrival at his house he picked me and put me in a firearms lift and carried me over the threashold. That was fun. He took me up to his bedroom where a bottle of champagne awaited. I could get use to this. He dropped me on the bed and told me to take off my jeans. I said I was oky wearing them, trying to push my luck but he insisted again. Off they came. "And the socks and t-shirt Kate". By the time he had finished I was naked on the bed awaiting his next order!. He disappeared with my clothes and came back, without a word dropped his trousers and boxers. Okay, what now I thought. He cupped his hand behind my head which meant only one thing, oral sex. He directed me without saying a word to come off the bed, so I knelt down on the floor so I was almost level and did my best. On it went and I tried my best again but I didn't really enjoy it. He guided my head again and again until he withdrew and titled my chin upwards and with his finger opened my mouth. I hated facials, but he grunted out and several spurts shot out and dripped over my face. What is the point of them? They are messy and horrible but I suppose they are a very submissive act. John then calmly went to the bathroom and ran a bath for me. I couldn't wait. He then reminded me to shave. How nice.

The rest of the day was spent putting my stuff away whilst John worked on his laptop, Great day off for him! In the evening I cooked for him but felt a bit miffed as I had to do the washing up as well whilst he watched tv. I was exhausted! The night was lovely. We went to bed early and well did what couples do. Well actually John told me to go to bed before him and he insisted I wore my night dress. By the time he came up I was almost asleep. I was awaked by his needs though but it was a lovely night.

The next morning I realised what this change would mean. No more trousers or jeans for me. John told me to wear a pleated skirt I hadn't worn before. It was a bit like a school skirt, quite horrible. I had to wear it with blue ribbed tights, nice and a frilly blouse with my black bow pumps. I made up some breakfast for John and he left me a list of housework. He said he didn't want me leaving my job to slob around, I was going to work as a proper housewife which meant cleaning, cooking, washing, everything, except the heavy duty stuff.

When the door shut behind I started on my jobs. I really wanted to impress him. I soon found out this was harder than going to work. Several loads of washing, then cleaning the cooker and kitchen following by the two bathrooms. I made some some lunch whilst I was preparing tea. By the time John walked in I was exhausted. He came in with some flowers which was lovely but then flopped in the chair. I served him a glass of wine and wanted to take away the stress of his day which he appreicated.

I served tea and he made some comments about the food and then went back to the lounge. I washed up and joined him and we curled up on the settee which was lovely.After the news John told me to go to bed as he wanted to watch a film. I grumbled a bit but in away how nice it felt to be cherised and looked after. He was protecting me from something he felt unsuitable. I didn't want to argue and left for bed. Some hours later he came up and the process started again. He didn't talk to me, he simply lifted my night dress and made love to me in the way he wanted to. I was learning that I was here for him and I was serving his needs. My needs were secondary. At least I was pleasing him which was nice.

So this is really how the structure started. I had so much to learn but I enjoyed waiting for John to come home. It was strange but I did miss work. Not really the work but the office gossip, the chat, the banter, the talk with the girls. Here I now was in a skirt or dress, cooking, cleaning and the doing the washing and ironing. Yes I missed work but could never tell John this.

Next steps

I didn't see John for a few days after our weekend away as he was away with work. We chatted on the phone and sent each other texts. I was really missing him . What I wasn't missing was the skirts and dresses. I didn't wear a skirt to work that week and did feel a little guility but did feel free and it only took a few minutes to get dressed. As I am usually late for work it saved time not bothering with skirts and the like.

I was supposed to see John on Friday night but he was very late back so I arranged to see him Saturday morning. I remeber slipping on the only dress I kept at my house with a pair of sheer tights. Mom had gone out shopping so I wouldn't have the usual comments from her. Dad came in and acted a bit funny and kissed me. Not something he usually does but didn't think too much of it at the time, I was running late again. Then the door bell went! John was early. Dad answered the door and talked some stuff to John, I couldn't hear what they were saying. I lept down the stairs and John kissed me. It was great seeing him

When we got in the car John kissed me again and put his hand on my leg and thanked me for wearing a dress and tights. We drove back to this house and he led inside as he always does and we sat down. We kissed for a bit and then out of the blue he fumbled in his pocked and pulled out a ring box. I honestly didn't expect it to be an engagement ring, thinking it would be some ear rings or something. It was a very simple, will you marry me. He didn't get down on one knee or anything, just came out with it. I was very, very shocked, it was the last thing I expected. He mentioned the talking to my dad was about it. He asked my father first which was nice. I said yes of course. This was the first time I was asked my a man for marriage. I must of made an impression last weekend.

The following day John said we would visit his mother. Something I had sort of dreaded, I don't know why. He dropped little hints about her and I sort of had a picture of a stern woman in my mind. I didn't stay over that night so John picked me on Sunday morning.

We went back to his house and he told me to change into a dress after having a shower. This annoyned me a little as I had spent time before he picked me up getting ready but he wanted me to wear this dress so I agreed. The dress was a linen maxi dress, one I had tried on ages ago but until now never worn. He also insisted I wore my navy ribbed tights which I kicked up a fuss about.

I looked okay and John said I looked lovely. He didn't say much on the way to his mothers.

She lived in a smallish detached house some miles away. She lives on her own. From the outside it was very well kept. We went to the front door and John walked in. I was quite nervous. John's mom then came out of the kitchen. She is a smallish lady with a thick perm. She kissed me on the cheek before John could introduce us.

We went into the front room and John and his mother talked. She didn't say much to me. We had lunch, a typical sunday roast affair. Throughout the meal she talked about our engagement. She asked if I had looked at any dresses yet and said he would come along when I choose. Jumping the gun a bit, we hadn't even set a date yet.

I felt she didn't talk to me much, she spoke to John quite a lot and at times snapped at him about stuff. First impressions, she seemed nice but quite firm and set in her ways. As I always find in older peoples homes it was boiling and I was glad to get out to cool down.

When we got home I felt bloated. John wanted to watch the grand prix and he flopped into the chair. It felt really strange but I wanted to wait on him, cherish him in a small way to pay back for all the nice things he had done for me. He appreicated it but got annoyed as I tried to talk to him when whilst he was watching tv so he told me to go upstairs and have a rest on the bed which I did.

Next morning I was back to my usual routine. It did mean putting on a skirt and tights. Annoying it felt!. This was no ordinary morning at work. When I got there a staff meeting had been called for our department. The long and short of it was the company was doing badly and redundancies were required. The meeting went on for ages. I meant John for lunch and told him. He kinda of new but told me to accept the offer. I didn't want to but he said there was no way he wanted me working when I was married and this was a good time to leave if the company as itwas making people redundant. We talked about money, well I mentioned it but he said he would sort the financies out and he didn't want me to worry about it. He then said I should move in with him now we are officially "pre-married". All this over lunch. He was quite stern in his decisions and I knew that I had to accept the offer as John would be really annoyed and I did want to move in with him but it felt like I was loosing my independence.

Anyway I went into my managers office. She had been my manager since I joined. Lorna was mid 50's and had sort of mothered me when I joined as a teenager. She was a little shocked about my quick decision and we talked about me and John. She asked if it was my decision or John's and I said it was a joint decision. She touched on the fact that John was a strong character and was I doing the right thing? Of course I said how happy I was and now I could move in with him, but when I finially closed the door I did have my doubts.

Our first night away

John sprung a sort of suprise weekend away on the Wednesday and told me we would be going away from Friday until Monday. It was a bit of a hassle getting the Monday off work but I managed to sweet talk my supervisor.

The last few weeks of dating appeared a bit strained. John got more and more annoyed with himself more than me that I was at work. He was desperate for me to move in and leave my job but didn't want to rush things. In hindsight if he had of rushed things I would of gone along with it, the thought of a career change from a glorifed typist to a housewife appealed to me at the time. Part of his annoyance was my slight bending of his rules. He bought me a work suit which he asked me to wear with navy opaque tights, ballet flats and a selection of blouses. I was the talk of the office when I walked in wearing a skirt, most of the girls hadn't seen me in a skirt before. On the days I knew I wouldn't see him at work I would wear trousers to work. I got caught out of course. He often had meetings cancelled and on the drive home would tell me off for breaking an agreement. Anyway he wanted me to move in so he could ensure I would always be in

appropriate feminine wear. His argument for making me wear girly clothes was the more I wore them that faster I would get use to them and like to wear them, even look forward to it. Somehow it didn't work like that for me.

Anyway getting back to the our first weekend away. Would this be the weekend it would happen I thought? As usual John picked me up. I thought we would go back to his house first so I could pack but we drove off. He told me had purchased all my clothes for this weekend. Typical John he had planned it for weeks but told me at the last minute.

We both left work at lunchtime. The journey took ages and after several hours we finially arrived. I was expecting a grand hotel but in fact it was a small country hotel. Our room was not in the main hotel. The hotel had small seperate rooms and we were shown to a lovely converted stable. It was actually very big, with a lovely bathroom, lounge and balcony over looking rolling hills. I had never stayed in anything like this before. It wasn't over the top, but very discreet.

When we arrived a wedding reception was taking place. John informed me to have a bath and be ready for a pre-booked beauty session. He also reminded me to shave down there. I had actually done this the day before but he still reminded me. I asked where he was off to, and he had a booked himself a clay piegeon shoot. I asked if I could go, always wanted to have a shoot but he said it wasn't a womans activity and I should concentrate on getting ready.

I took a lovely bath, watching the time so I would be out of the bath before my spa treatment arrived. I dried off and slipped into a bathrobe and walked out of the bathroom and then looked at what was hanging by the bedroom. A purple layered monoco dress. If I had of seen a dress like this in a shop it would of been the one I would of walked past. I mean it was a nice dress but not the one I thought I could carry off. Next to the dress was an ivory lace suspender belt, matching thong and ivory stockings. He had also bought a pair of 4 inch court shoes. A small note was left on the side, which I kept. "Hope you like it!" Hmm, can't hurt his feelings.

Shortly after there was a knock at the door and my spa treatment had arrived. I was expecting a young woman, don't know why but a lady I would say in here 50's walked in. She introudced herself and got to work on my nails which had never seen any treatment other than my teeth. John had even chosen my nail design. I sat there as she worked away and yes they did look good after she had finished. She then applied a light treatment to my face. She then asked if I would like help to apply make up as it was in the price. I refused to begin with, pretending that I could easily apply it myself. She pursuaded me and I was glad, I never was good at makeup. She applied the mascara and then a light tone lippy. She even messed about with my hair to make it look more presentable. I left it loose, I didn't want to tie it back. By now I had actually began to like here. "Come on then lets get you dressed". I shyly got the underwear and dress from the bedroom. She complimented me on the outfit. I had no choice but to take off my robe. She didn't say a word. "You must be careful with these stockings they are very fine. I can see your other half has chosen this! I began to put the thong on when she stopped me. "No, you put the garter belt on first then the panties over it. You don't want to be taking off you stockings when you go to the bathroom." Lesson learnt. I slipped on the garter belt and then carefully rolled up the stockings. They were very fine and I was scared of laddering them. My assistant helped my attach the belts to the stockings, something that would of taken me ages. I didn't care much for the stockings, it would of been much easier going bare legged. Finially the dress.  She helped me into and positioned it to fit. I stepped into the shoes and my feet slipped slightly. My stocking feet against the new shoes didn't work. I felt very fragile, like if I moved I would rip something. Perhaps that was what John wanted? The by now lovely lady who had helped me so much complimented me again and left. I sat down in front of the mirror and looked back at myself. This was the first time I was dressed like. Here I was dressing for my man, dressing to please him, submitting to him,. I had a mix of emotions and feelings.

Shortly after John came in. More compliments and he even took some photos of me. He told me not to move whilst he quickly showered and changed. I waited for him. It wasn't long before he popped out of the bathroom looking very smart. How I wished it would take me 10 minutes to get ready. He put his arm into mine and we walked to the dining room for our evening meal.


I was nervous as John held the dining room door open. I quickly glanced around and there were a few couples, non of whom were dressed up like me. Most wore a dress though. The waiter showed us to our table and moved the chair back from the table. How posh I thought. When I sat down I could feel one of the suspender belts. It wasn't painful, just annoying. The wine was ordered and John again paid some lovely compliments to me. I did feel a bit like his dressed up doll, but I liked the way it pleased him.


I can't remember exactly what we spoke about throughout the meal, the only point I do remember was John chose for me. He did choose well but he didn't ask me, just ordered! Good job I liked fish.


Typical me I looked forward to the dessert. The starter and main were nice but the dessert was out of this world. I wasn't tipsy as John only ordered 1 bottle of wine and said that was enough for both of us. We didn't have coffee afterwards, perhaps John wanted to go back to the room. Before we left the table I got butterflys in the my stomach. I knew that shortly our relationship would be going to another level. John got up first and held his hand out. I grasped it and we walked back to the room. He again unlocked the door and opened it for me to go in first. He shut it behind him and locked it. As it was old hotel it didn't have the digital locks. He took hold of me hand again and led me into the bedroom. Stand there he said. He fumbled in his bag and out came the camera. He took a few shots of me all dressed up again! I stood there, now feeling really nervous. Your nervous aren't you, he said. I shook my head. Don't worry, this is going to be very special.


Take your shoes off and put them away. I did as I was told. Relief I thought as my feet were freeded from the heels. He then came up from behind me and kissed the back of my neck. It felt lovely. He did this for a while before unzipping my dress. He didn't tell me to step out of it, I just did so as it began to feel very loose as the zip came apart. I hung the dress up as John sat on the bed and then turned around with me just wearing a bra, suspender belt and stockings. He stood up again and went behind me to unclasp my bra. There was no fumbling with John, one attempt and the bra loosed. I removed my arms and he put the bra on the side. He put his arms over my breasts and touched them for the first time. It felt nice. He then moved his hands down and slowly began to lower my thong. It dropped to the floor and he guided me to the bed. I climed onto the high bed and looked at John. He just stood there and then came over and kissed me for ages. I loved it, it was love, a feeling I had never felt.


John was still clothed at this time and I was half hoping he would either tell me to take off my stockings or he would remove them. The other half of me realised this was unlikely. But when was he going to get undressed? He then told me to turn around on the bed. I said what?, come on Kate, head against the bedboard and put the lovely bottom in the air. Off all the areas of my body I feel conscious about its my bum. I know its too big, I dislike it, its out of place. Can't we go under the covers I suggested. No was the answer. He wanted full view of everything. There would be no fumbling in the dark this time. I turned around with my head facing the bed board and ahem, well got on all fours. John then positioned my legs so my bum was well in the air. I didn't like the fact I couldn't see him. I wanted him to kiss me again and see his eyes, but this was a little odd I thought. He then began to circle his finger around my vagina. It was already a little wet and he commented on it. It felt wonderful what he was doing. I thought what if I orgasm now? He continued and then removed his finger and lightly circled my bottom. It felt okay, but I always had that area as no go area. I let him continue when I felt a second finger back in my vagina. This sort of compensated for what he was doing around my bottom. This went out for some time and I was very close to joy when he he removed his finger from my inside me. I so wanted him to continue. He then said, "You are going to please me in anyway I wish aren't you princess?" I said yes in a hope he would finish things off. He continued with teasing my bottom, each time going a little deeper. He then stopped and I could hear clothes falling to the ground. I stayed in position waiting for his voice.


He then turned me around and I finially saw him naked. He had a nice body, well of course I am going to say that! He had a erection, and to me anyway I thought, wow thats quite big. I had hoped he would refrain from me having to do oral sex. I never liked it and wanted to try and start our sexual side of things by not doing it. He moved up close and tucked his hand behind my hair to guide me towards it. I slightly shook my head which he picked up. He didn't say anything and I though I can't not do it. I opened my mouth and he slowly pushed my head towards his penis. When it was inside I didn't know what to do. I just sort of froze. He pulled out and said, I can see you haven't done this before. How patronising! He then told me to kiss the side of it and lightly kiss the tip. I followed his instuctions and he seemed to like it but I knew I wasn't doing it properly. He stopped giving instructions and just used his hands to reposition me. I tried my best and I think he liked it but looking back now I can see I wasn't very good.

The oral sex went on for what seemed ages until he pulled away all together. I thought I had done something wrong but he didn't say anything. I layed back not knowing quite what to do. He then positioned himself on top of me and it well, just slipped in after a few goes. He started off slowly and the pace fastened as he went deeper. What did feel nice was the closeness of it all, the feeling I was pleasing him. He lasted much longer than any previous experience but what unsettled me a little was no contraception. I wasn't on the pill and I thought he would use a condom. I had just had my cycle only a few days ago so I hoped this would be okay.

I was a bit huffed when he pulled out and went to the bathroom. Not much thought for me!. He came back after a while, kissed me on my forehead and then told me to put my nightdress on and yes I could take off my stockings! I went to the bathroom and slipped the hoisery off and slipped into the night dress. I was too tired by this point to moan about wearing it. I climbed back into bed to Johns snoring.! Looks like he really was worn out. I feel asleep quite soon after, and quite very happy.

John was up before me as usual. He had ordered room service and I had heard the door close as the accepted the lovely breakfast. I jumped out of the bed and John told me off for not putting on my dressing gown before eating breakfast. I put on the robe and sat at the table. John fed me a few grapes and I picked at some fruit when there was another knock at the door. John told me to go back to the bedroom. Why I asked. Because I don't want anyone seeing you half dressed, even though he was! I did as I was told. It was just the waiter who had forgotten the milk. I came back into the room and finished off the breakfast. We drank champagne as well which made feel very dizzy first thing in the morning. I could so get use to this. When breakfast was finished he picked up my hand and led me back into the bedroom. He told me to put on a pair of fishnet holdups and said these are only for the bedroom. I don't want you to wear these outside.

That statement seemed strange but I did as I was told and went to the bedroom to get ready. John was alread in bed when I got out. His eyes went like saucers when he saw me.. I felt a little shy. He patted the bed and I jumped up. Here it all goes again I thought. He was a man of few orders, but before he got started on me again he said I was naught to be wearing fish nets! He told me to wear them! This was the first time John took me the other way if you know what I mean and no I don't mean orally. I was glad he took his time with lubrication. It took a long time and he was gentle as he could see I was a little distressed but I so wanted to do it to please him. Boy did it hurt at the start but it got easier and when he was in full flow and I enjoyed pleasing him.

After a morning of love making we both showered and John had picked out a knee length skirt with a pair of brown cable knit tights, another flowery blouse and a pair of ballet flats. Anything but heels! He asked me to tie my hair back which was no problem. The afternoon was spent at a local park which was lovely and very romantic, walking around holding hands.

We came back to the hotel room and John undressed me again and we made love. More oral sex again and I tried again to please him. We must of spent a couple of hours in bed and I was quite exhausted by the end of it, thinking what a high sex drive he had.

John had a booked himself into an croquet game at the hotel and I was told to go down to the lawn to watch him after my spa treatment. Not another spa treatment I thought but I didn't say anything as I didn't want to upset him. He told me to wear a maxi dress when I returned from the spa, a pair of tan stockings and heels. The spa treatment lasted around 40 minutes and I went back to the room and changed. Again it took me far too long to clasp the stockings to the belt but I got there in the end. I walked over to the croquet lawn and watched John. I never understood the rules of croquet and got a little bored but I know John wanted me there.

After John had finished he walked  me back to the hotel room commenting on how nice I looked. I was getting using to the comments! I remember it was close to our evening dinner and I had to change and have shower. When we got to the room John sat me down on the bed and took this trousers and boxers off. Okay he was standing there half naked, what was I supposed to do? He held my hand and put it on his penis. I could feel it enlarge. He then put it up toward my mouth and placed his hand of my head. The thing with oral sex is I my mind seems to wonder. I don't really like it but I like to please John. John's approach this time was more agrressive. I felt John was teaching me, even though he didn't say much. I remember my neck aching as I stayed in the same position and repated the same actions. All seemed rather mechanical to me. Finially he withdrew and jumped on top of me and continued what I consider the normal way. I was relieved!

The final morning of our stay started in much the same way. Oral sex and the John finishing in the missionary position. It was quite nice start to the morning but I felt a bit left out as I never seemed to reach orgasm, but I liked the fact he was satisifed so I suppose I was doing something right!

I really didn't want to get dressed up for breakfast but John insisted I wore a skirt and tights. I tried in vain to go barelegged but this feel on deaf ears as usual and I was told to wear a pair of opaque tights. How nice! What was nice was breakfast, even though John ordered for me. He did choose right though but did tell me off for gorping at the male waiter. Well he was cute!

I had presumed we had to leave the room by the morning but John had paid extra so we had the room until 4pm. Back in the hotel room John told me to undress and put on a pair of white hold-ups and my night dress. I started to undress in the bedroom but John told me to undress in the bathroom just in case anyone came in. Like they would? I think John wants to be the only person in the whole world to undress me. Once in the bedroom off we went again. He hardly spoke, preferring to re-position me when required. I did at times feel like a doll but loved the fact I was pleasing him by giving him anything he wanted, even though I didn't like some of the stuff he did. It was the longest time I had spent "making love" if that's the correct saying. It was always in the missionary position, John would not like it if I ever went on top or heaven forbid suggested anything sexual. It all finished off lovely and John seemed to have a smile on his face.

Wow, what a weekend it was. I suppose any first weekend away with your new partner is exciting, mine certainly was. I was very slowly learning to be told by John what to wear and what to do. We had a little argument when we were getting ready to go and John insisted I wear opaque tights. I didn't really want to, prefering the thinner stockings but he won in the end.

The drive back was lovely and for the first time I really looked forward to the future. A mixture of happiness and nerves I guess but I was excited either way.

Our relationship

John has got this habit of explaining everything to me. Before we went away for the weekend (a precursor to me moving in) he talked alot about traditional relationships and even mentioned marriage. He never criticised other peoples marriage or life but wanted to tell me about how our relationship would be. I already new most of his ideals. He disliked me wearing trousers or jeans and I had sort of agreed to wear skirts and dresses. Really it felt to me I was told to wear skirt and dresses. He did not me going bare legged so when I was in his company I would be wearing tights or stockings/holdups. I really disliked this part. A hangup of school days I think but again I agreed to it. In a way I do like to please him by wearing clothes he approves of, even though I truly dislike them.


In terms of the household John believes the wife (or partner) should stay at home and be a homemaker/full time mum. He believes the man is the head of the house and provides for the family. The wife cannot take the role seriosuly if she has to leave the home to go to work. Of course this allows for the opporunity of being able to afford to do this which I pointed out. His rambling about this referred to our situation and he stated that when our relationship develops he wanted me to quit my job and take up the role of homemaker. I found at first this view a bit sexist. On the other hand I loved it. I didn't like my job and though of looking after his house and waiting for him to come home really appealed to me. My career wasn't going anywhere and I was sick of wearing the horrible work suits that John had made me wear to work.


John also has a very protective appeal about him, again something that makes me feel lovely inside and then angry at the same time. He wants to protect me from anything and everything that could pollute my mind as my mind was 100% innoncet. I may not off done much in my life but have seen and experienced perhaps more than he thinks I have. Anyway he doesn't like me watching anything sexual of tv. He turns it off when any sex scene comes on and tells me to go to bed! Wow it makes me mad and makes me feel like a child when he does that.


And finally the head of household role. I did have an idea this was coming up because he had made reference to it on a few occasions but he wanted to tell me straight. As the hoh if I play up, go mad with the credit card or fall well short of his expecations I would be disciplined. The discipline he said would be discussed when I move in but would take the role of a grounding, loss of privelages or if is serious a spanking. I know some couples may use spanking as a sexual element but the spanking in our relationship would be solely for the use of discipline and would be a last resort. The spanking would also be done after the event and never as a sudden reaction to a situation, not that I had ever since John in a rage.

There was lots for me to accept. I was scared and excited about the discipline side but it was something I wanted. I want to be guided by him and accept his guidance and discipline if needed. I knew this would not be easy but I loved this man and want to show my love in anyway I can.

Stay the weekend

After dating for some time and trying very hard to obey John's rules he asked me to stay over at this house for the weekend as the wanted to take me out on Friday night.  Why do I remember this. Well after he asked me he said straight away you can sleep in my bedroom and I will sleep in the spare room. I hadn't expected this. It was a clear statement that our relationship wouldn't move onto the next level. I did and did not want things to move on. Typical me, being mixed up.

By this time some of my clothes I had kept at John's house as he often picked me up from work and we would go back to his house. That Friday we went back to his house as usual. Once in I was told to shower and he would usually pick out a dress for me to wear. I was sort of getting use to this by now. I stepped out of the shower into the bedroom. I could hear John downstairs. He had laid out a black dress I had worn before with black tights and black bow style pumps.

It didn't take me long to get ready. I went downstairs and John complimented me. I asked if I could ditch the tights at it was still quite warm. "You know the rules about hoisery Kate" was the reply. Darn it, worth a try though.

That evening we went on a river boat. It was lovely. We had a meal and there was a jazz type band playing. Not really my type of music but it was good. Several times through the meal John would lean over and brush my hair back. Don't know why I remember that. He said he prefered my hair tied back so it would not hide my face!

After the evening ended I was glad to leave the boat. I was overheating. We talk a walk down the river bank back to the car. I had a few to drink, not drunk or anything but perhaps more flirty than normal. He told me his feelings for me which was lovely, how we wanted me to move in etc but he he wanted our first time to be special. He said outright again that the weekend would be seperate rooms. By now I almost wanted to sleep with him that night. 

When we got home the wine effect had worn off. He said tomorrow  and Sunday his house was mine. What did he mean?. Well he wanted me to take on the role of the woman in the house. He mentioned it before. Perhaps it was a trial before he would officially ask me to move in. I actually wanted to. Up until now he had done everything and I mean everything from paying for all out trips, to flowers, chocolates and even my darn clothes. I wanted to impress!

We kissed good night and he went to the spare room. I took off my dress and at last freed my legs from the tights and tossed off my shoes and fell straight to sleep.

I woke up to find John in the beddoom. Dam it. I wanted to get up early and cook him breakfast. I asked what time it was. 10:30 he said. I felt bad  I looked around the room at my clothes I had thrown down and felt bad.

Come on he said, we will have to go for breakfast. I am not happy the way you take your clothes off. Its like a teenage girls room in here. Tidy up before you come down. I also want to buy you some night dresses. Its something I forgot. I don't want you sleeping in just your underwear.

I quickly got dressed and picked the clothes up from the floor. I wore a skirt he had requested  with some navy tights and a white blouse. I darted down the stairs and we drove off.

I could sense he was annoyed. I had let him down. We went into a department store and he bought us both breakfast. He touched on my attitude and I tried to smooth it over. I knew now that I would have to been on my best behaviour.

We went shopping, or should I say John chose. He bought 3 very frilly white night dresses, and then went to the lingerie section. I am sure some people must think he was a crossdresser as he was the one that showed any interest. He picked out several pairs, all white again with varying styles. Non I would of chosen my self. I really didn't lilke the night dresses either. I had always slept in a t-shirt and knickers before.

On the way back we talked more and after our chat I wanted so much to please him by doing what he asked. On return to his house he sat down in the chair to watch some rugby match. I started in ernest by cleaning the kitchen and dining room. I didn't want to vacuum the lounge as he was watching tv. He called me over and asked for a drink. This sound strange but I really loved to wait on him. It felt right. I didn't actually like the cleaning side but it was pleasing him.

When I bought his drink over it was half time and he put the drink to one side and pulled me onto his lap. It was a surprise and he had never been so forthcoming before. He kissed me for what felt like for ever. Would he go further? I wanted him to. He pulled away and then began to stroke my legs. As he stroked my legs my tights began to pull down slightly and I got one awaful wedgie. It felt strange.

Shortly after the match continued and he told me to carry on with the housework. That was me told!

Later that day I tried to cook tea. John made some comments but I think he liked it. I served it to him and then cleaned the table away. It took my quite some time to clean up and by then John was watching a film on tv. I sat down and after about 10 minutes feeling exhausted after all the cooking and cleaning. I started to watch the film and  a sexual scene came on. Nothing too bad but John switched the tv off and told me to go to bed. I asked why and he said he didn't want me watching "this type of stuff". I complained bitterly but he repeated it. I swallowed my pride and went upstairs. As I got to his bedroom I remembered I would be wearing a night dress. I undressed and put away my clothes  away and slipped on the night dress. It felt very feminine and I felt very girly as I glanced over to the mirror. I jumped into bed and shortly after John came up, said nothing, kissed me on my head and went the spare room.

Sunday came and I got up on time after going to bed early and cooked him breakfast. It felt good again. I had agreed to see my mum for lunch so John dropped me off shortly after. I remember as he drove off thinking I can't wait to see you again even though I disagree with you. Is this love?

The dynamics of our relationship

When I met John I had no idea of the type of relationship I wanted. Its a question I never asked myself. I mean you don't really do you. I wasn't really looking for a new relationship when John came into my life.

After our first few weeks of dating I knew that John liked to be in control. He is traditional and wanted that type of relationship. If someone had asked me before, would you let you boyfriend choose your clothes I would of said no way! But on the other hand I do want him to make the decisions in our relationship. Do I need a man to lead me. Well yes. I can and have looked after myself since John came into my life he has made me feel safe and loved. I loved the fact that John is very confident, where I am quite shy. I trust his judgement. He is also driven by the fact that he is responsible for me and that motivates him. I also believe that with Johns leadership I will do better in life.  I actually see his leadership and control as a very special act of love.

Of course you can't have your cake and eat it. By letting John guide me, lead me and in many ways control me there are always decisions he makes that I dislike. But I always try and obey as that is what I have agreed to and deep down it is what I want. I really want to please John but sometimes it doesn't happen.

John takes control in many ways, from my appearance to what time I go to bed. If he feels I am tired and battling myself to stay awake in front of the TV he will tell me to go to bed, even though I would like to watch the end of the film! He also hates me seeing inappropriate content such as violence or sexual stuff. He much prefers me to watch family films and television or sloppy soap operas. He will allow himself to watch what I am not allowed to watch though. Isn't that sexist, but it makes me feel so loved inside. I know this control isn't for everyone and I would of agreed had I not met John but he sets rules and boundaries in a loving way that makes feel so special, a feeling I had never felt before.

He deals with all the money side of things, afterall he earns the money so that make sense. I have responsibilities or chores which are exclusively mine. They are considered womens jobs in Johns book so it means keeping the house clean and tidy (which doesn't come naturally), do the washing and ironing, and cooking, although John does like to cook sometimes. As I am no longer working I don't see this as a problem. It would be unfair to expect John to do everything.

I now love the feeling of our relationship. Yes there are always things that I struggle with but I do them to please John, by making him happy it makes me happy. If I have let myself down I am disappointed and even more so is John. I hate it when this happens and look for guidance from John to correct things.

Changing from tomboy to girly girl.

After that date when he confessed he hated what I wore I had time to think. Part of me was angry, the other part felt loved. We must of spent hours talking on the phone about it. This was his take:

He said that although I probably won't admit it I am vunerable. I have been hurt in the past and I need protecting. He is desperate to protect me. He wants to guide me and lead me. He wants to take away all my problems. He wants to protect me from the world. He touched on work and said he didn't like me there because a lot of the male colleagues were very poor role models and a bad influence. He wanted me to have a dependancy on him.

He asked what I thought of a man wearing womens clothes. Did this turn me on? Of course not!. He said it was a direct comparsion but when a woman wears trousers and trainers it takes away the femine aspect of a woman. He said all this might appear sexist but its not. For John he wants to be the protector of me which feels lovely.

Another area John talked about was letting go. He said he once observed me playing with the salt and pepper pot at a cafe when he was paying. How embarrasing I thought but I do tend to do silly things. He said he was to nuture this. He said I have an inner child in me that has never gone away and that I should never hide it away as when its out I am at my most innocent. I thought that was a nice comment but didn't really understand it. He explained I don't like responsibility and with him he would be responsible for me.

He then struck a chord. He talked about when my mum use to make me wear skirts or dresses when we went out as a family. When I became an adult I had never learnt to accept normal girls or womens clothes. John would now have to treat me in a child like way and make me wear feminine clothes. Boy I was confused.

Back to the topic. John had agreed to take me shopping. A first for me, my past boyfriends hated shopping and I didn't like it much either. He even told me the night before what to wear. I was to wear a pair of jeans which seemed strange and a pair of shoes and a blouse of my choice. He made no comment about underwear luckily.

He picked me up and we drove off, me expecting to go the the nearest shopping centre but he headed off in the opposite direction. I asked where he was taking me and he said "Wait and see princess". Princess? This was the first time he called me princess. I smiled in accpetance. It felt okay him saying it.

After what seemed ages we arrived in a market town I use to visit occasionally when I was younger as my Aunt lived there. It had all the usual high street shops together with some independent shops. So after parking the car he led me away and the first shop was M&S. How predictable I thought. John then suprised me by saying he just wanted to buy some cufflinks. He knew what he wanted and put them in the basket. We then wondered over to the dreaded hosiery section. I tried to look interested and was actually surprised about the selection. Not that I was choosing. He picked off a multi pack of 60 denier opaque brown tights and put them straight in the basket without consulting me. He then bought himself some other stuff, a tie from memory. At least he only bought one pack of tights for me. He paid and we decided to have a coffee in the shop. I thought this a little strange as we had only got there.

As we sat down, he told me to go the toilet to put on my tights under my jeans. Why I thought and asked!. Simple he said. I would be trying on lots of skirts and dresses today so needed to be wearing them. Can't I try them on bare legged if I am just trying them? I then sensed a little annoyance in his tone. Just put them on he said, they are just  a normal part of a womans wardrobe. Go on.

I was told! I got up a little reluctant and went into the toilets. I went into the cubicle and sat down. I undid my jeans and lowered them down. I was wearing charlie brown socks! Funny what you remember. I took them off and opened the pack of tights. 60 denier. I thought they were too thick and I would start to get too hot, especially shopping all day. I had agreed though so I gathered the one leg up and slowly began to peel it back onto my leg. Suddenly all the thoughts of my childhood came back to me. What was I doing? I continued and gathered the other leg up and stepped into them. I rolled them up and watched my legs being covered in brown denier. I felt uncomortable when they reached my waist. Then I thought, come on, they are only tights, what's the big deal and John will be happy. I still felt sorry for myself though. Anyway I whipped on my jeans and shoes and went back out.

As I walked back to the table John could now see I was wearing tights. His eyes wandered down to my shoes. "See that wasn't that bad was it?". I explained my concerns but they were dismissed. He even asked me to hand over my lovely charlie brown socks, apparently to avoid tempation. He stuffed them into his bag. Come on then princess, lets go shopping.

We first entered a traditional womens boutique. It was quite a nice shop, with plenty of choice, mainly the dressier end. Its a shop I would have never walked into. The shop assistant was mid 40's and smiled. She put on a fake smile and muttered something about helping us if we needed it. John went to over to evening dresses. I stoold there looking a bit dum, thinking shouldn't this be the other way around? Not long after John pulled out a evening beaded cocktail dress and put it towards my front. I looked in horror. I can't wear that. He seemed to ignore me and told me to try it. I complained again and gave him a child like look. He just pointed to the changing room and told me not be silly. I huffed a bit and went to change.

I hated it. I never liked dresses. I hated the restriction, the look, the feel just everything. Well its a compromise I thought. If I agree on 1 dress he may back off. I took my jeans off for a second time. I took of my top and changed into the dress. It was a silk dress and well very dressey. It was royal blue in colour, very floaty and had a chiffon style neckline. I looked at myself in the mirror. Clearly the tights didn't match. I looked uncomfortable.

The shop has seats arranged outside the changing rooms so you could parade to your partner. I nervously stepped out for approval. Johns eyes turned into goldfish bowls. His whole face lit up. "My god princess, the change is amazing. You look 1000 dollars. You can see now why jeans and t-shirts just don't work." I continued to stand there while he commented on my change. It felt nice in a way, but I didn't like the dress and didn't like been told what to wear. He didn't ask my opinion why upset me.

I changed back into my jeans, very tempted to take off my tights at this stage but resisted. I pulled back the curtain and John grabbed the dress and took it the till.

We then went into a high street shop to try on some skirts. I paid a little more interest in the skirts than the dress. Not that John seemed to listen to my choices. I must admit he had a good eye for detail, better for me, quickly grabbing skirts from the rack and putting them against me and deciding. He eventually selected 3 skirts and directed me to the changing rooms. I showed the girl the skirts and she handed me a token. Off came the jeans again and I slipped the first skirt on each, a flared brown knee lenght skirt. I popped out the changing room and walked towards John. He approved and I went back. This went on again and I tried on a layered skirt which John approved on again. I then tried on pencil skirt and by now just wanted John to approve but I could see he didn't like the pencil skirt.

Finially I got out and he purchased the two skirts and put the pencil skirt back. Off we went again. We then went back to M&S and he picked out some "work skirts" which filled with me horror.  I hated people noticing something different about me. This really would get the tongues wagging. Anyway John had decided and I tried on another 4 skirts of which he purchased 3.

We then back to the hoisery section at which point I asked if I could get some leggings. No was the blunt answer. He literally chose loads of tights and also 3 pairs of hold ups. I had never worn holdups before. We then went to choose some tops. He picked out a floral print blouse, a woven ruffle blouse and another layered type blouse.

You may be wondering how I remember all this. Well this is a direct copy from my diary, but the day is still as clear in my mind now as it were yesterday.

All this had taken ages but John hadn't finished. He could see I was wearing thin but wanted me to try on some shoes. I pursuaded him to stay in the same shop. I tried on 2 pairs ballet pump style shoes. Both pairs had the bow style on. He seemed happy so he bought them. When he paid I had wondered off to the exit. Actually I was looking at a watch. He waved to me and walked over. "I want you to put this skirt and blouse on with the shoes I have bought for. I had a word with the changing room assistant. You can change now." I tried to talk him out it but I felt guilty afterall he had bought all the clothes. I went back in slipped my comfortable jeans off and put the layered skirt on, then the blouse and shoes. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt a bit upset. What was I doing? I thought I look unhappy John may change his mind.

I don't think he noticed my expression when I walked out. His eyes went wide again and he commented on how lovely I looked. We walked back to the car with his compliments continuing. He carefully put all the bags in the boot and got in. "We are not finished yet, I am taking you for lunch". He could see I had tears in my eyes now. He got in the car and asked the reason for the tears.

I explained it felt like going back to a child, being told and made to wear clothes I disliked. He then told me to close my eyes, which I did. He then put my hands on my knees. He then slightly tilted my head to each his and kissed me. Wow it felt wonderful. We had kissed before but not like this. I felt wonderful. He then said, as a plain as day "I love you". That was the first time he said it. He repeated what he had said about how jeans don't work for me and how great I looked in a skirt or blouse.

Then the serious words came out. He told me from now on every time we date I was to wear a skirt or dress and always with tights. He said that meant for work as well. I asked why can't I go bare legged. His answer was mixed. He said he didn't like other men looking at my bare legs, for his eyes only and that tights were just a normal but feminine part of a girls wardrobe. He said he appreicated it was a big move but insisted in no time at all I would forget I was wearing them or a skirt, it would become normal.

So this was the start of my long journey from a tomboy to a feminine girl. Pleasing a man is not as easy as I had thought.