Religious or not?

Twice a week I attend an afternoon "church" class with my mother in law. I didn't want to go at first but John made me and it actually is not too bad. I have not been particular religious but I like the warmth it can give you and it does feel nice to belong to something.

MIL is very religious and is pleased I now attend and is somehow converting me. She said she even makes John attend and he has been a few times at the weekend, probably to please her now doubt. He attends a mens only class though.

We rotate between 3 peoples houses. It is a house church, and is led by a small group of Christians all of whom are very nice and have welcomed me into the group, although I had to keep a small white lie from them, that being I was a virgin on my wedding night. Not that they asked any questions, they sort of just assumed.

Each week there is a guest speaker who reads from the bible and we then discuss what has been read. As the afternoon class is women (and sometimes joined after school by some of their daughters) the subjects mainly relate to the wife in the marriage and church and some of the topics are quite interesting . There are handouts to take back and discuss with your hubby.

Anyway I thought I would extract a few that relate to my marriage:

"Peter says that a husband is to honor or show special regard to his wife because she is the weaker vessel and she is a co-heir of God's saving grace."

I discussed this with John who agreed of course I was weaker but in a nice sense and that I needed guiding just like  a ship. I beleive I can manage without the full leadership of John but he says the wife's role is to follow her husband not decide for herself.

And of course this one I knew before:

"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 22:5"

This is Johns reason for banning trousers of any type although he has never given me a real explanation about why bare legs are unacceptable?

I discussed some of the things with John but he does not talk about it much. I tried to ask him how anal sex is allowed in christian marriage but he stopped me and said he does not want me to talk about sexual matters as this is matter for him. That night when he came to bed he went straight for the lube, lubed my bottom up and proceded with anal sex. He likes anal sex but I am not that bothered, well I would rather not actually. The next morning he made me wear a butt plug so I think this was sort of punishment for asking him about anal sex.

So after many church meetings I really am none the wiser about some of John's ways. So many things are still a mystery to me. 

Long time

Sorry I have not been blogging recently, I hope everyone who reads this is well.

After Christmas was over John in a nice way had said I had gained a little weight and I had answer him back a few times over, what else clothes. Christmas was a good excuse for him to buy me more skirts and dresses and his mother also chipped in with some clothes as well. John is the sort of man that would rather spend his money dressing me up than go to a football match, strange really. We had a little argument about in on new days when he had arranged to go for a walk with his family. I asked if I could borrow a pair of my old jeans I knew he had kept back but he said no. I was the only one in a skirt and I felt uncomfortable.

He was annoyed as well and said I was moaner and being bratty and how could womens clothes be something I could not enjoy? When we got home he took my upstairs and pulled  me over his knee. He lowered my skirt, tights and panties and spanked me for my behaviour. I was angry but gave in and accepted my punishment. He then told me to dress for bed and there I was, the first day of  the new year and in bed for 7.30pm

When he got into bed about midnight I half expected him to make love to me but I think he had drunk some wine and fell asleep. He did in the morning which was nice.

We had a chat the next day and he said I had been acting like a naughty school girl for some time and I will be treated like one. For the next two weeks it was early bed times and no answering back. I had to wear what ever he said and twice a week he arranged for his mother to come in and I would spend the day with her. That is punishment itself. He bought some new clothes and of course insisted no bare legs so its been tights and stockings, something I still dislike.

Things are okay now and he is chilled out a bit. Perhaps it was all the Christmas stress...

Love Kate

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Are words just words? You can get upset my them of course. One rainy Sunday afternoon we were both sitting in the lounge after lunch and got talking. John said he was proud of me and the journey I had taken. I was very shy with him when we first dated but learnt to trust him and opened up to him. The long journey went from me giving my heart and soul to him. He has moulded me into his ideal wife, although we are not there yet. I still at times break the mould in small places which is when he comes to correct me.

Whilst having this indepth talk about our journey he came out with. "Soon I will be able to call you my slut". I was taken a back to say the least. I am not a slut and never have been. I never slept around and only had a few boyfriends before  Then he explained that I would act on his word at anytime. If he wanted to have sex right now I would obilge. I might not want to but I would not say now. That is my submissive nature in this relationship. The slut word is just linked I think to sexual acts. He loves me to wear a really nice dress, with nice shoes, stockings and make-up and have lunch with my parents. Nobody nows that before I slipped my panties on he lubriacted my anus and slipped a small butt plug inside me. He enjoys the perception of a pretty lovely daughter and wife but really she is a slut to her husband. I would rather have lunch without something inside me but I agree to it because he asked me.

So am I a slut. I suppose I am, but only to my husband but he says I have yet to earn the badge of honour yet. I can't see what else I need to do but his eyes went wide when I asked him that.

A weekend staying in

John is very protective and wants to know everything. Perhaps he is a bit insecure but he likes to control most areas of my life. The word control sounds strong but I don't mean it like that.

Anyway when I sometimes say I have done something in the past or experienced something he always says "you never told me that". He then likes to know all the details.. It can be anything, like going on holiday or perhaps a minor experience with a boyfriend. I think I have told him everything but there are always things I might not of mentioned. Were is this leading, well we were back at my house. My mum had been asking me for ages to take some of my old stuff away and we have finially got round to sorting it out.

I didn't know what the stuff was so John and I started to go through some of the boxes and bin liners. There were a few photo albums which John looked through with interest. The pictures of me were with a horse I use to ride, a few of me dancing and some of me at school. He made some comments about how I should not of been allowed to dress like that, joking a bit but he meant it. He also noticed I was the only girl wearing knee socks as mum had not allowed tights to school. He agreed about the no tights rule! He thinks tights are for grown ups.

Well after more sorting we had gathered the stuff togheter. John hadn't helped much, spending ages looking through the photo albums. Anyway the last bag he decided to open and it containted my old school uniform. "I will have some fun with this young lady".

When we got back home we loaded all the stuff inside. It was a Friday afternoon and John had mentioned a special weekend. I had hoped of a weekend away but he showed me the fridge of all things. I opened it and it was stocked full of food. His mother had been in when we were out and filled up. "We are staying in all weekend, not even going out the front door and I want you to change into your school uniform for me"

Why on earth do you want me to wear my old uniform. "Because I told you to and I want to see how you looked in it". He handed me the skirt, school knickers and knee socks together with my old school blouse. He also said he wanted my hair in bunchies. No suprise there then.

It felt very strange dressing in my old school uniform. I was actually pleased it still fitted me but I had lost weight since I had met John.

I was nervous as I walked into the bedroom. "How do you feel" he asked. "A bit silly" I replied in a lower tone. He asked me some funny questions like if I had ever kissed other boys in my uniform or gone further. I replied no. He then pulled me towards him and I sat on his lap. He opened my legs and touched my legs and then moved his wayinto my knickers and started to feel arounded my inside. It felt quite nice. It didn't take him long to put me on the bed and have his way. It didn't take him long and I think it was one of his tick boxes to have me in my old school uniform. I suppose it was a bit of fun.

What wasn't fun was having the spend the whole weekend in my uniform. I was dreading anyone calling but with luck nobody called around. We had sex all weekend, he was on heat but I was glad when Sunday night came around and I could ditch the uniform. Perhaps for once a skirt and tights was a better option!

Guidance

I liked being a housewife at times, other days I didn't like. Love hate relationship I suppose. I still couldn't get use to the restrictions and rules but know that this is what John wants. Actually John uses the word require a lot instead of request, although he will use the word request when he asks me to do something for the first time.

Before John goes to work he usually tells me if he wants certain jobs doing, but not always. I alway have the housework to do which MIL guides me on, then there is the washing, ironing etc. I always have his tea ready for him when he gets back but I do admit to being lazy at times, especially early on in marriage.

I would wizz around the house cleaning as fast as I could so I could watch trashy tv after. John started to notice and parts of the house I had left and were getting rather untidy and in places dirty. He told me he worked hard all day so I wouldn't have to. He asked me to keep the house clean and tidy. If I failed at work I would be given warnings, the same would apply at home. I think he made several comments about the downstairs toilet which I hated cleaning.

Well it came to a head when he arrived home at 2 oclock in the afternoon. I was expecting him about 6 o clock. I was sitting in front of the tv with a big bag of crisps and a very small glass of wine. He was not impressed to say the least. He said he had warned me several times and I would be dealt with tonight. He went over to the table to collect a folder he had left. I think the main reason of his vist was a bit of relief. He told me to sit down on the carpet which I did. I knew what was coming. He unzipped his trousers and they fell to the ground. He was already enlarged through his boxer shorts which he then lowered. He cupped his hand around the back of my head and guided me to him. I started work, well it felt like a chore and it wasn't long before he was fully aroused. I was hoping inside, but no he relieved himself over my face, yuck. He then kissed me and said he would see me later.

I stayed in position until I could hear his car drive off and then washed myself down, now dreading tonight.Time dragged on but I prepared a lovely tea which he enjoyed. I hoped he had forgotten as we had a lovely meal togheter. He complimented me on the cooking and the extra cleaning I had done in the afternoon. But no he hadn't forgotten. After tea he told me to go upstairs and wait for him.

I sat on the bed and five minutes later he arrived. He pulled the dressing room chair into the middle of the room and told me to go over his lap. I lay across his lap which my hands resting on the floor. Noting happend for a bit until I felt his hand position my bottom. He then talked at me, telling me I was becoming a little lazy and I was saying I had done work that I hadn't. I agreed with what he was saying and agreed to my punishment. He raised my skirt and then lowered my opaque tights which I was hoping for some protection. Then I felt his fingers around the band of my knickers and they were then were lowered. Then the spanking with the slipper. Wow it hurt and it wasn't long before I started to cry but he still continued. It was a real spaning and it seemed to last for ever. He commented on my bottom changing to the right colour after which he stopped and told me to stand up. Still sobbing he kissed me and told me to change into my night dress and go to bed. But it was only 8 o clock I replied. Do you want another spanking then. I said no and quickly put on my night dress and went to bed. He left the room and turned the light off. I felt like a naughty girl. My first guidance spanking I suppose.

Married Life!

Some people say you feel different when you arrived back from honeymoon a married wife, but it didn't sink in with me at first. John did put me over his shoulder and carry me over the doorstep. I remember feeling a bit embarrased as it was windy and my dress blew up at the exact time a couple walked past...

We arrived back home on Sunday afternoon and John casually announced that he was starting a new job on Monday. He never mentioned it to me! His reply was that it didn't concern me now I was a full time house wife. His worries of the world will not enter mine and so on. I was a little dissapointed he didn't mention anything but more so that my sort of last contact with my work place was now gone. A few of my work colleagues has gone quiet since I announced I was marrying John and when I saw a few of them a while back in my maxi dress and long hair they thought I had changed. I had changed but I was still me. Oh well, new marriage, new life I guess.

John asked me to iron his shirt on Sunday night after I had cooked tea. I didn't mind, it sort of meant I was doing my bit but after the washing from our honeymoon I was worn out. John on the other hand had spent the evening watching tv so by bed time he was full of beans which was evident in the bedroom.

I woke early the next morning to make John his breakfast. He was already up and working at his computer. He was a little rushed so breakfast was brief, a quick kiss goodbye and then quiet, the house was empty. I felt a little off colour for some reason so I texted John good luck and said I was feeling a little unwell. I didn't expect a reply as it was his first day but he thanked me and told me to rest and stay in bed which I did. I woke about 2 hours later feeling a little better and went on the net.  I came across some sites about newly married couples and the different types of relationships. I learnt quite a lot about myself that afternoon just by reading some new sites.

I suppose as women we want men to be strong and protective. I certainly did but in  past relationships  when it suited me! A man wants a gentle woman who is submissive. Again something I didn't give in past relationships but is something I want and try and at times  to give to John. 

Leadership is another aspect. I have never been a leader but sometimes wanted to make decisions. By letting John lead me I am giving him my trust and also his happiness. He doesn't want me to make difficult decisions he wants to protect me from them.

Sex, well what do I say. I fought with this one. Girls and women are raised in the modern world to be more in control and maintain different views to men. John has taught me new lessons and has led and taught me to be demure and submissive in the bedroom. He has no constraints in the bedroom and fully expects me to oblige his advances.

So what have I given up now that I am married. Well the obvious things like my job. I suppose the biggest thing is control. John is in control now. I don't mean that in a total literal sense, but he decides where we eat if we go out, what clothes I wear, when we make love, if I need discipline etc. I have lost jealous feelings, insecure feelings, unloving feelings. I feel so loved in this marriage, but at times struggle with the guidance from him.

I felt very happy after my surfing session and text John to say I loved him. I then decided I must get on with my job, the ironing. He lated texted me back telling me to change into a dress for tonight as he was taking me out. A sort of celebration for his new job. I was displeased with his choice of dress but did not say so, even though I dislike bows on dresses.

The meal was lovely, but driving back we got diverted due to a football match. Cutting the long story short we drove through a noisy crowd of football supporters. I didn't feel scared as there was a lot of police about but their language was colourful. Add to that loads of drunk people, a man being sick in the street and a couple being rather suggestive in a bus stop it was a different way to end a romantic meal out. John was angry and said he didn't want me to see this. I told him I do know what goes on. His reply was the world at times is an ass and he wants me protected from it.

I am not a child you know. Then he said something a little odd. He then said at times I like being treated as a child. I recall not showing behaviour like a child. He said I need a strong leader in our marriage and I am a vunerable in a nice way. That why at times he treats me as a child and I respond to this without knowing, examples include being set to bed early, turning the television off if the content is not suitable, choosing suitable magazines that do not have sexual content, dressing in a feminine but not suggestive way etc. Of course I do rebel, a bit like a child and that is where spanking comes in.

Well we got back, late and John told me to go straight to bed but to keep my stockings on. He likes making love with me in stockings. I would rather they came off. It was a nice end to to the night, and well this is now married life...


PS. I would like to hear peoples comments my blogs.  I know everyones relationship and marraige is different so share your thoughts.

The big day

Well after what seemed like years of planning (it was actually about 7 months!) the big day was nearly upon me. I did feel out of it for as my MIL and my mother had decided to organise the whole thing. They saw I was a bit flusterred at times and took this to mean I couldn't cope. Even deciding on the dress was overtaken by the mothers. In the end I just decided on what she liked more than me, it was easier. It was probably the first dress that was bought without John being there. The dress was very traditional. It was a ruffled satin dress with beaded bodice, full sleeves with a chapel train. I thought the first time I tried it on it would be quite heavy but it was suprisingly light but quite restrictive. The MIL paid for the dress which was nice of her but I believe she paid for it so she could have control. Well several alterations were made and after four fitting sessions the big dress was sorted much to my relief.

Although John probed me a bit on the dress he did insist that I wore traditional hoisery. I really wanted to go bare legged as I new I would be hot but this was out of the question. His mother even chose the hoisery and underwear. She chose a satin style thong to my surprise, a floral styled bodice basque with suspender attachments and three pairs of white slightly patterned stockings. The shoes were rather plain. John did try and get me to go for a pair of heels but knowing how much standing I would doing I really wanted a pair of ballet pumps and ended up with a pair of satin pumps which fitted like a glove.

My hen night was rather a low key affair. By now my friendship circle had changed and the wild party nights I once enjoyed were gone but I still had a nice meal and few drinks. Very different to John's stag night. He went to Northern Ireland for the weekend and well that is about as much as I know.

The night before John stayed at his mothers but his mother stayed with me. My mother also stayed the night before. I remember I couldn't sleep a wink the night before. I woke up as soon as the light came through the curtains. It was only about 5 o clock but I just couldn't lie there so I took a nice bath. It must of woken the MIL and my mother up. I dragged myself out of the bath in just a robe to find MIL fully dressed and waiting to dress me. Come I thought, its only quarter to six!

I dried off and she started work on my nails. I just left her to it. Filing, cleaning and painting the dam things. I never really bothered with my nails until meeting John but he liked painted nails so I was sort of use to it now. The hairdresser was booked for 8.30 so I ate a little breakfast but didn't feel like much. Back upstairs my mother had arisen. I was ready to put my under clothes on but didn't want to undress infront of my MIL. Nonsense she said, you have got nothing to hide my girl, come on, now. Oh well, me told. I dropped my towel, thining who cares and then I realised my mother probably doesn't know I shave down there. I could see the suprise on her face when she looked. She didn't say anything though. I slipped on the basque, knickers and rolled up the suspenders and mother clipped them on. My mother then started to apply some foundation and make-up. The pampering went on for what seemed like ages until the door bell went. The hairdresser at last. Another hour went by and by this time my two bridesmaids had arrived. These were Johns cousins children, aged 10 and 7. They were really excited.

"Putting the dress on time" had arrived and I was helped with this. Mother had bought me a tiara and at last the veil. This was one thing that had caused some arguments. I didn't want a veil but John and his mother had said I had to wear a veil. The veil fell well below the shoulder, much too long than I wanted.

It took about 3 hours to get ready and we due to leave for the church at 11:30 so I was actually early but the car taking us was actually late so we kept with tradition. Dad helped me into the car with my mother and family driving ahead.

I was by now quite nervous as we approached the church. Well here we go I thought. The next time I come outside this church I will be married to John.

I don't remember much about walking up the aisle, I do recall everyone standing and watching me, something I didn't like. I am much a person that doesn't draw attention to ones self. It was great to see John waiting for me and he complimented me on my dress, as he should! The service was lovely and even the vows went smoothly. Yes I did the traditional vows of love, honour and obey. John raised my veil and kissed me. It felt wonderful, I was actually married now.

The reception was a touch too formal for me, but it was nice. It was organised by the MIL. It was held at a grand manor house with lovely gardens but the rain put a stop to any outside photographs. My fathers speech made me cry, it really was well put together and touched me. It suprised me. The best mans speech made reference to Johns pre marriage days much to his horror.

The first dance went lovely too and I was glad I was wearing ballet pumps now. John lowered my veil for the dance, I don't know why but I didn't want to argue so left it down. As the night went on I had a few drinks too many and was feeling a bit giddy. John had only consumed a few drinks but was eager to leave the reception to go to the bridal suite. When we were leaving he again asked me to lower my veil. Why I said? Because I want you too, you look so innocent and submissive with your veil down. Most guests had drank too much by now so no comments were made about my veil.

The bridal suite was well away from the reception, so far away you couldn't even hear the music. He picked me, put me over his shoulders and carried me into the room.

He took some photos of me in my wedding dress and asked me to remove my gloves and shoes. He then started to touch my vagina through the wedding dress before asking me to remove it. It took a while before I was standing there in my stockings, bodice, veil and knickers. I always felt a bit uneasy about him taking pictures of me half dressed but posed for him anyway. He took a loads of photos before lifting me onto the bed. It was a lovely time. He took his time, there was no rushing and he held me in his arms and kissed me before making love. It felt very special and he made it special this time. We both fell asleep afterwards, both exhausted from the days events.

John woke me early in the next morning for oral sex, which I of course obliged. He was a bit more forceful than last night, I think his needs were clearly priority. He finished his way with a facial and wouldn't let me go the bathroom to wash. Oh I so wanted to but he insisted. I think it was only about five thirty so we drifted back to sleep again.

John wanted an early start to our honeymoon, mainly I think to avoid the guest! He woke up at 6.30 and we showed together. John started to dry me off with his towel and said he wanted me to wear a small butt plug for the journey as as little reminder. I dislike anything really around that area but wanted so much to please so I agreed. At least I was quite lubricated from the shower. Luckily it was quite small and he slowly applied it with me bending over a chair. There was slight discomfort when I stood up but I got use to it. John had chosen my clothes for that day. A gypsy style skirt, light blue blouse with a cardigan and brown tights. He wanted my hair in tied back in two's which I did for him.

We had a small breakfast in our room and then off into the car for the drive to Scotland for our honeymoon. No fancy foregin holiday, but that didn't bother me. Now I was married my first week of married life lay ahead.