When I met John I had no idea of the type of relationship I wanted. Its a question I never asked myself. I mean you don't really do you. I wasn't really looking for a new relationship when John came into my life.
After our first few weeks of dating I knew that John liked to be in control. He is traditional and wanted that type of relationship. If someone had asked me before, would you let you boyfriend choose your clothes I would of said no way! But on the other hand I do want him to make the decisions in our relationship. Do I need a man to lead me. Well yes. I can and have looked after myself since John came into my life he has made me feel safe and loved. I loved the fact that John is very confident, where I am quite shy. I trust his judgement. He is also driven by the fact that he is responsible for me and that motivates him. I also believe that with Johns leadership I will do better in life. I actually see his leadership and control as a very special act of love.
Of course you can't have your cake and eat it. By letting John guide me, lead me and in many ways control me there are always decisions he makes that I dislike. But I always try and obey as that is what I have agreed to and deep down it is what I want. I really want to please John but sometimes it doesn't happen.
John takes control in many ways, from my appearance to what time I go to bed. If he feels I am tired and battling myself to stay awake in front of the TV he will tell me to go to bed, even though I would like to watch the end of the film! He also hates me seeing inappropriate content such as violence or sexual stuff. He much prefers me to watch family films and television or sloppy soap operas. He will allow himself to watch what I am not allowed to watch though. Isn't that sexist, but it makes me feel so loved inside. I know this control isn't for everyone and I would of agreed had I not met John but he sets rules and boundaries in a loving way that makes feel so special, a feeling I had never felt before.
He deals with all the money side of things, afterall he earns the money so that make sense. I have responsibilities or chores which are exclusively mine. They are considered womens jobs in Johns book so it means keeping the house clean and tidy (which doesn't come naturally), do the washing and ironing, and cooking, although John does like to cook sometimes. As I am no longer working I don't see this as a problem. It would be unfair to expect John to do everything.
I now love the feeling of our relationship. Yes there are always things that I struggle with but I do them to please John, by making him happy it makes me happy. If I have let myself down I am disappointed and even more so is John. I hate it when this happens and look for guidance from John to correct things.
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