After my first 2 dates I knew that John was a bit different to my past boyfriends. Perhaps it had something to do with the age, (he is 12 years old than me). It was more than that. He was (and is) very traditional, which was a bit strange at first. The manners, the views, the expectations etc.
It was nice to be greeted on a date with a bunch of flowers. I loved it that it he opened the car door for me. I loved it that he got up himself from the table when I went to the toilet. I had never experienced it before. I offered to do the lifts once and he said it was always the mans job to the driving! hmm.
When I began to think about it though I realised I wanted to make sure that our relationship was equal and I was a woman that could do anything that a man could do. I don't know why. But then I did want him to do the driving and open the doors, that bit felt nice. I loved the feeling of being protected and looked after. I had never felt so safe in a relationship before and we had only been on a few dates.
So I was a bit confused. I loved the way he treated me but I suppose growing up, girls are taught to be equal. What should I do?
My other confusion was my feelings. For the first time I really began to have feelings for him. I missed him he wasn't around. I looked forward to his text message or phone call. I got butterflys in my stomach when I waited for him to knock the door on our dates. Was I was falling in love?
Anyway, coming back to the question, one of the things I like about John is his direct approach. I say like, there are many times I don't like what is he saying or telling me.
I think it was our third or fourth date. He did not tell me where he was taking me. It was in the afternoon. I had booked the day off for some reason. He pulled up and baag on time again and knocked the door. He presented me with a small box of chocolates, wrapped with a lovely bow. I put them on the side and then he pulled the trouser on my leg and said "I have really got to get you into a wearing a skirt". I thought, not again. By now I was use to him put his arm through mine as he led me down the path.
We drove off and ended up by the river. I was dreading another posh restaurant episode but he took me to a place I had been before. It was quite a low key affair and I felt comfortable. Inside the place was nearly empty. The waitress suggested a table but he asked for one by the window in the corner.
As we sat down he started to talk about "us". He did the talking. I remember he said that he would never hurt me and for me to trust in him. I was begining to trust him. He mentioned some of his past relationships and why they had not worked out. He then said he wanted to be open and straightforward from the start. As I said I can't remember the exact words but this is what was said.
He was a traditional man and wanted to share all his time with me. He didn't like me wearing trousers and trainers and t-shirts. He wanted me to start wearing skirts and dresses when we date. I agreed then that the ocassional skirt I could put up with but I didn't really own any. He laughed a bit and said that he would buy any new clothes afterall it was him that was requesting it. So by now I had agreed to a new wardrobe! Was this something I would regret.
John also discussed the makeup of a traditional relationship. It angered him if I tried to pay or offer to do the driving. This is his world. He didn't want me to worry about money, driving, deciding where to go. All I was to do was to look "feminine".
So how did I feel. Well I felt warmth, I felt I belonged and I felt very loved. I then felt a little annoyed that I soon would be wearing a skirt when we dated next. These were the signs of something new? I was also very worried. How would I look feminine for him?
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