Being moulded

When we first started dating John often said I should be moulded into his perfect partner (or wife now).

It first started when he changed my clothes, banning jeans and trousers and insisting I wear skirts, dress and no bare legs. The clothing them continued, out went my trainers and in came ballet pumps and heels. I grew my hair longer and took a bit more care of my nails. I shaved down there.

Then there is the sexual side. I am still learning to please him sexual but can still be crabby about certain things. I understand his time is sometimes limited and he wants to just relieve himself quickly and then go, leaving me a little frustrated but I supposed I am pleased that I have pleased him.

I do go along with his wishes, I want to please him and if I am honest I enjoy having less responsilbilty but I am more accountable to him now.

So we were talking about all this over the weekend and he said I have not let go of my past. He sees glimmers in me of me being childish. When he first mentioned this I argued the point but he actually wants me to more child like. He hates me seeing rude stuff on TV and magazines and has cenesored it. He wants me to be worry free of lifes troubles but if I do mess up in the house by breaking rules then that warrants a spanking.

I am kept very busy running the house and have even started to grow my own vegetables. I do all this when he is at work and wonder how I did half of the stuff when I worked. When hes home he wants me to "me", ie be the grily, child like housewife he has moulded. Does that sound strange. Other examples, he chooses for me when we eat out and only he talks to the waiter. He tells me when to go to bed and often at weekends chooses what I will wear and how I should have my hair (he has got a thing for me wearing a ponytail or bunches right now).

Just wondering if this dynamic or parts of it occur in any other relationship. I am not complaining, I am head of heels in love with John!

Un-necessary spanking

The other day after tea I went for a shower and then came down stairs in my night dress gown. John was just finishing some work on his laptop and mentioned that a work colleague might drop in to pick something up as he wouldn't see him tomorrow.

I didn't really think much of it and got engrossed in a film. About half an hour later the door bell rang and John told me to go upstairs as I wasn't "dressed" right to be introduced. I was annoyned as I didn't really want to be introduced anyway and I was in the middle of watching a film. I snapped back and said don't show him in here. "Go up stairs now, you keeping him waiting" I still refused and he switched the TV off said "Now and I will deal with you when he has gone". I knew that was a spanking. I stormed up stairs and went waited and waited. They talked for ages until at last I heard the door go. I went downstairs only to find John outside and this man waiting in the lounge. "Hello, he said, I'm Julian". I froze and managed a quick hello when John walked back in. I could see he was rather annoyed now and he gave a quick into before Julian went.

I went back upstairs shortly followed by John. I explained I thought he had gone but he was annoyed I had disobeyed him by coming down stairs. He pulled the bedroom chair out and I didn't argue, I took my dressing gown off and lay over his lap. He lifted my nightie and started spanking straight away. He spanked for ages well past my tears and crying. When he stopped he asked me stand up and kiss him which I did. He then took my nightie off and told me to have corner time for half an hour. Corner time dragged on but he told when my time was up and put me to bed. I hate going to be early. When he came to be much later he did make love to me but kind of brought me close to him again, it was a stange mix of feelings.

By the morning I thought my punishment would be over but he instructed me to wear my punishment dress. Oh I hate this dress he makes me wear. A dress bought by his mother but its a reminder of my bad behaviour I guess.

I didn't really think I deserved a spanking for simply going downstairs by accident but he said he asked me three times to go upstairs and I refused and I acted immature. I guess he is the boss.

Religious or not?

Twice a week I attend an afternoon "church" class with my mother in law. I didn't want to go at first but John made me and it actually is not too bad. I have not been particular religious but I like the warmth it can give you and it does feel nice to belong to something.

MIL is very religious and is pleased I now attend and is somehow converting me. She said she even makes John attend and he has been a few times at the weekend, probably to please her now doubt. He attends a mens only class though.

We rotate between 3 peoples houses. It is a house church, and is led by a small group of Christians all of whom are very nice and have welcomed me into the group, although I had to keep a small white lie from them, that being I was a virgin on my wedding night. Not that they asked any questions, they sort of just assumed.

Each week there is a guest speaker who reads from the bible and we then discuss what has been read. As the afternoon class is women (and sometimes joined after school by some of their daughters) the subjects mainly relate to the wife in the marriage and church and some of the topics are quite interesting . There are handouts to take back and discuss with your hubby.

Anyway I thought I would extract a few that relate to my marriage:

"Peter says that a husband is to honor or show special regard to his wife because she is the weaker vessel and she is a co-heir of God's saving grace."

I discussed this with John who agreed of course I was weaker but in a nice sense and that I needed guiding just like  a ship. I beleive I can manage without the full leadership of John but he says the wife's role is to follow her husband not decide for herself.

And of course this one I knew before:

"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 22:5"

This is Johns reason for banning trousers of any type although he has never given me a real explanation about why bare legs are unacceptable?

I discussed some of the things with John but he does not talk about it much. I tried to ask him how anal sex is allowed in christian marriage but he stopped me and said he does not want me to talk about sexual matters as this is matter for him. That night when he came to bed he went straight for the lube, lubed my bottom up and proceded with anal sex. He likes anal sex but I am not that bothered, well I would rather not actually. The next morning he made me wear a butt plug so I think this was sort of punishment for asking him about anal sex.

So after many church meetings I really am none the wiser about some of John's ways. So many things are still a mystery to me. 

Long time

Sorry I have not been blogging recently, I hope everyone who reads this is well.

After Christmas was over John in a nice way had said I had gained a little weight and I had answer him back a few times over, what else clothes. Christmas was a good excuse for him to buy me more skirts and dresses and his mother also chipped in with some clothes as well. John is the sort of man that would rather spend his money dressing me up than go to a football match, strange really. We had a little argument about in on new days when he had arranged to go for a walk with his family. I asked if I could borrow a pair of my old jeans I knew he had kept back but he said no. I was the only one in a skirt and I felt uncomfortable.

He was annoyed as well and said I was moaner and being bratty and how could womens clothes be something I could not enjoy? When we got home he took my upstairs and pulled  me over his knee. He lowered my skirt, tights and panties and spanked me for my behaviour. I was angry but gave in and accepted my punishment. He then told me to dress for bed and there I was, the first day of  the new year and in bed for 7.30pm

When he got into bed about midnight I half expected him to make love to me but I think he had drunk some wine and fell asleep. He did in the morning which was nice.

We had a chat the next day and he said I had been acting like a naughty school girl for some time and I will be treated like one. For the next two weeks it was early bed times and no answering back. I had to wear what ever he said and twice a week he arranged for his mother to come in and I would spend the day with her. That is punishment itself. He bought some new clothes and of course insisted no bare legs so its been tights and stockings, something I still dislike.

Things are okay now and he is chilled out a bit. Perhaps it was all the Christmas stress...

Love Kate

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Are words just words? You can get upset my them of course. One rainy Sunday afternoon we were both sitting in the lounge after lunch and got talking. John said he was proud of me and the journey I had taken. I was very shy with him when we first dated but learnt to trust him and opened up to him. The long journey went from me giving my heart and soul to him. He has moulded me into his ideal wife, although we are not there yet. I still at times break the mould in small places which is when he comes to correct me.

Whilst having this indepth talk about our journey he came out with. "Soon I will be able to call you my slut". I was taken a back to say the least. I am not a slut and never have been. I never slept around and only had a few boyfriends before  Then he explained that I would act on his word at anytime. If he wanted to have sex right now I would obilge. I might not want to but I would not say now. That is my submissive nature in this relationship. The slut word is just linked I think to sexual acts. He loves me to wear a really nice dress, with nice shoes, stockings and make-up and have lunch with my parents. Nobody nows that before I slipped my panties on he lubriacted my anus and slipped a small butt plug inside me. He enjoys the perception of a pretty lovely daughter and wife but really she is a slut to her husband. I would rather have lunch without something inside me but I agree to it because he asked me.

So am I a slut. I suppose I am, but only to my husband but he says I have yet to earn the badge of honour yet. I can't see what else I need to do but his eyes went wide when I asked him that.

A weekend staying in

John is very protective and wants to know everything. Perhaps he is a bit insecure but he likes to control most areas of my life. The word control sounds strong but I don't mean it like that.

Anyway when I sometimes say I have done something in the past or experienced something he always says "you never told me that". He then likes to know all the details.. It can be anything, like going on holiday or perhaps a minor experience with a boyfriend. I think I have told him everything but there are always things I might not of mentioned. Were is this leading, well we were back at my house. My mum had been asking me for ages to take some of my old stuff away and we have finially got round to sorting it out.

I didn't know what the stuff was so John and I started to go through some of the boxes and bin liners. There were a few photo albums which John looked through with interest. The pictures of me were with a horse I use to ride, a few of me dancing and some of me at school. He made some comments about how I should not of been allowed to dress like that, joking a bit but he meant it. He also noticed I was the only girl wearing knee socks as mum had not allowed tights to school. He agreed about the no tights rule! He thinks tights are for grown ups.

Well after more sorting we had gathered the stuff togheter. John hadn't helped much, spending ages looking through the photo albums. Anyway the last bag he decided to open and it containted my old school uniform. "I will have some fun with this young lady".

When we got back home we loaded all the stuff inside. It was a Friday afternoon and John had mentioned a special weekend. I had hoped of a weekend away but he showed me the fridge of all things. I opened it and it was stocked full of food. His mother had been in when we were out and filled up. "We are staying in all weekend, not even going out the front door and I want you to change into your school uniform for me"

Why on earth do you want me to wear my old uniform. "Because I told you to and I want to see how you looked in it". He handed me the skirt, school knickers and knee socks together with my old school blouse. He also said he wanted my hair in bunchies. No suprise there then.

It felt very strange dressing in my old school uniform. I was actually pleased it still fitted me but I had lost weight since I had met John.

I was nervous as I walked into the bedroom. "How do you feel" he asked. "A bit silly" I replied in a lower tone. He asked me some funny questions like if I had ever kissed other boys in my uniform or gone further. I replied no. He then pulled me towards him and I sat on his lap. He opened my legs and touched my legs and then moved his wayinto my knickers and started to feel arounded my inside. It felt quite nice. It didn't take him long to put me on the bed and have his way. It didn't take him long and I think it was one of his tick boxes to have me in my old school uniform. I suppose it was a bit of fun.

What wasn't fun was having the spend the whole weekend in my uniform. I was dreading anyone calling but with luck nobody called around. We had sex all weekend, he was on heat but I was glad when Sunday night came around and I could ditch the uniform. Perhaps for once a skirt and tights was a better option!

Guidance

I liked being a housewife at times, other days I didn't like. Love hate relationship I suppose. I still couldn't get use to the restrictions and rules but know that this is what John wants. Actually John uses the word require a lot instead of request, although he will use the word request when he asks me to do something for the first time.

Before John goes to work he usually tells me if he wants certain jobs doing, but not always. I alway have the housework to do which MIL guides me on, then there is the washing, ironing etc. I always have his tea ready for him when he gets back but I do admit to being lazy at times, especially early on in marriage.

I would wizz around the house cleaning as fast as I could so I could watch trashy tv after. John started to notice and parts of the house I had left and were getting rather untidy and in places dirty. He told me he worked hard all day so I wouldn't have to. He asked me to keep the house clean and tidy. If I failed at work I would be given warnings, the same would apply at home. I think he made several comments about the downstairs toilet which I hated cleaning.

Well it came to a head when he arrived home at 2 oclock in the afternoon. I was expecting him about 6 o clock. I was sitting in front of the tv with a big bag of crisps and a very small glass of wine. He was not impressed to say the least. He said he had warned me several times and I would be dealt with tonight. He went over to the table to collect a folder he had left. I think the main reason of his vist was a bit of relief. He told me to sit down on the carpet which I did. I knew what was coming. He unzipped his trousers and they fell to the ground. He was already enlarged through his boxer shorts which he then lowered. He cupped his hand around the back of my head and guided me to him. I started work, well it felt like a chore and it wasn't long before he was fully aroused. I was hoping inside, but no he relieved himself over my face, yuck. He then kissed me and said he would see me later.

I stayed in position until I could hear his car drive off and then washed myself down, now dreading tonight.Time dragged on but I prepared a lovely tea which he enjoyed. I hoped he had forgotten as we had a lovely meal togheter. He complimented me on the cooking and the extra cleaning I had done in the afternoon. But no he hadn't forgotten. After tea he told me to go upstairs and wait for him.

I sat on the bed and five minutes later he arrived. He pulled the dressing room chair into the middle of the room and told me to go over his lap. I lay across his lap which my hands resting on the floor. Noting happend for a bit until I felt his hand position my bottom. He then talked at me, telling me I was becoming a little lazy and I was saying I had done work that I hadn't. I agreed with what he was saying and agreed to my punishment. He raised my skirt and then lowered my opaque tights which I was hoping for some protection. Then I felt his fingers around the band of my knickers and they were then were lowered. Then the spanking with the slipper. Wow it hurt and it wasn't long before I started to cry but he still continued. It was a real spaning and it seemed to last for ever. He commented on my bottom changing to the right colour after which he stopped and told me to stand up. Still sobbing he kissed me and told me to change into my night dress and go to bed. But it was only 8 o clock I replied. Do you want another spanking then. I said no and quickly put on my night dress and went to bed. He left the room and turned the light off. I felt like a naughty girl. My first guidance spanking I suppose.